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THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT 



THE FRUITS 



OF 



ENLIGHTENMENT 



A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 



BY J^L^^ 

COUNT LYO£ TOLSTOI 



4 

v^7 



eAuttioriied Edition 



NEW YORK 
UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

SUCCESSORS TO 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 

150 WORTH ST., COTS. MISBIOX PLACE 



•2,-5 (» u 



V6 



3ft 



Copyright, 1891, 

BY 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY. 



■3 



DKAMATIS PEESONvE. 



Leonidas Feodorovitch Zvezdeentseff. A retired lieutenant 
of the horse-guards, the owner of twenty-four thousand 
acres of land in various parts of Russia. A fresh, healthy 
man of about sixty years of age, mild, affable, gentle- 
manly. He believes in Spiritualism, and takes a delight 
in astonishing others with his wonderful tales. 

Anna Pavlovna Zvezdeentseff, his wife. A stout, youngish- 
looking lady whose main interest in life lies in the ob- 
servance of the proprieties of fashionable life. She 
despises her husband, and has unbounded faith in her 
doctor. Irritability is one of her main characteristics. 

Betsy, their daughter. A fashionable young lady of twenty, 
with free and easy manners characteristic of the male 
sex. She uses & pince-nez. She is a coquette and given 
to inordinate laughter. She speaks very rapidly and 
very distinctly, compressing her lips like a foreign lady. 

Basil Leoniditch, their son. A youth of twenty-five, a 
graduate of the Law Faculty, without any definite occu- 
pation, member of a bicycle club, a jockey club, and of 
a society for the improvement of harriers. He is a youth 
of blooming health and never-failing self-confidence. 
He speaks in a loud tone of voice, and by fits and starts. 
He is either thoroughly serious, almost gloomy, or else 
boisterously gay, and his laugh is almost uproarious. 

Alexis Vladimirovitch Krooglosvetloff. A professor and 
savant of fifty, of quiet, self-possessed manners, and slow 
silvery speech. He is of a communicative turn. Those 



6 DRAMATIS PEBSOJST^J. 

who differ from him he treats with mild, gentlemanly 
contempt ; is an inordinate smoker. He is rather thin, 
but wiry and active. 

The Doctor. A stout, thriving, rubicund individual, with a 
voice of thunder and rather unrefined manner, who is 
always wearing a self-satisfied smile. 

Mary Konstantinovna. A girl of twenty, a pupil of the 
Academy of Music ; gives music lessons herself ; wears 
her hair in a fringe that falls over her forehead ; dresses 
according to the latest fashion, and always overdoes it 
somewhat ; is obsequious and bashful. 

Petrishtsheff. A youth of twenty-eight who has taken his 
degree in the Philological Faculty ; is looking out for a 
social position, belongs to all the clubs and societies of 
which Basil Leoniditch is a member, and to the society 
for the promotion of cotton and calico balls,* besides. 
He is bald, very sprightly and vivacious both in move- 
ments and in speech, and excessively polite. 

The Baroness. A lady of great importance, slow and gradual 
in her movements, who speaks without intonation. 

A Married Princess. A fashionable lady of the world — a 
guest. 

A Young Princess. A young lady of the world, given to mak- 
ing grimaces — also a guest. 

A Countess. An ancient lady who moves about with extraor- 
dinary difficulty, and wears false curls and artificial 
teeth. 

Grossman. A darkish man of the Hebrew type, very lively 
and nervous ; he speaks in a loud tone of voice. 

Mary Vassilievna Tollbookhin. A stout, rich, good-hu- 
mored and consequential lady, who is acquainted with all 

* I.e., Balls at which the fair sex dispense with ordinary ball 
dress, on the principle that beauty requires no adventitious setting 
off, and appears in everyday apparel. 



DRAMATIS PERSONS. 7 

remarkable men, living and dead. She is very corpulent, 
speaks hurriedly, and always strives to outspeak every- 
body else. She smokes. 

Babon Klingen (Koko). A graduate of the University of St. 
Petersburg, gentleman of the Emperor's bedchamber, 
attache at the embassy. Perfectly correct in all things, 
he is always at ease, and in a subdued way is ever cheer- 
ful. 

A Lady. Who is silent throughout the play. 

Sergius Ivanovitch Sakhatoff. An elegant individual of 
fifty, formerly Under-Secretary of State, of wide European 
culture ; has no occupation, but takes a deep interest in 
everything. He carries himself with dignity and with 
a certain austerity of manner. 

Feodor Ivanitch, the valet. A man of about sixty, fairly 
well educated, who has a taste for education, makes 
much too frequent use of his pince-nez and of his pocket 
handkerchief, which he is continually unfolding. Takes 
an interest in politics. On the whole, an intelligent, 
well-meaning man. 

Gregory, the lackey. A man of twenty-eight, profligate, en- 
vious, handsome, and daring. 

James, the butler. A man of forty. Fussy, good-humored, 
caring only about the family incidents of his native vil- 
lage. 

Simon, the butler's assistant. A peasant of twenty, healthy, 
fresh, light-haired ; as yet beardless ; quiet, smiling. 

The Coachman, thirty -five years old. A dandy ; impudent 
and resolute. Has a moustache, but no beard. 

A Man Cook, of forty-five. Kagged, unshaven, bloated, sal- 
low, quaking, in a torn nankeen overcoat and soiled 
pants, in slippers. Speaks huskily ; his words leave his 
mouth as if they had to clear a barrier before reaching 
the listener. 

Female Cook. A talkative, dissatisfied woman of thirty. 



8 BEAM AT IB PERSONS. 

The Doorkeeper. Who is a discharged soldier. 

Tanya, the maid-servant. A strong, energetic, cheerful girl 
of nineteen, of a very capricious disposition. In mo- 
ments of violent and joyful excitement she yells. 

1st Peasant. A man of sixty. Was Elder of the peasants ; 
fancies he knows how to conduct himself when in the 
presence of gentlemen, and likes to hear himself speak. 

2d Peasant. A saucy but conscientious man, who has his 
own homestead. Chary of his words. He is Simon's 
father. 

3d Peasant. A man of seventy, in bast shoes. Nervous, 
restless, precipitate. Hides his timidity by means of 
conversation. 

1st Groom of the Countess. A patriarchal old man with a 
lackey's pride. 

2d Groom. A huge, healthy, coarse piece of manhood. 

A Clerk from the shop ; in a dark blue blouse. Clean, rosy 
face. Speaks firmly, persuasively, and distinctly. 



The action takes place in St. Petersburg, in the house of 
the Zvezdeentseffs. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



ACT I. 

Antechamber of a rich house in Moscow, which has three 
doors : the outer one, another leading to Leonidas Feo 
dorovitch's study, and a third leading into Basil 
Leoniditch's room. A staircase leading to the inner 
apartments ; behind it a passage into the pantry. 

Scene I. — Gregory, a young and handsome lackey, is seen 
eying and titivating himself before the mirror. 

Greg. An awful pity it is that I am deprived of mus- 
tachios. A lackey, if you please, must not cultivate 
mustachios. And why not? That people may know 
he's a lackey. Otherwise he might outshine the mis- 
tress's own dear son. Outshine him, indeed ! Though 
I lack mustachios, I could give points to that sweet 
youth. [Glances at himself with a complacent smile.] 
What a crowd of nice girls run after me and pay me 
court ! Not one of the whole lot takes my fancy like 
Tanya, there. A simple chambermaid ! And yet she 
can hold her own with any young lady. [Smiles.] Yes, 
and isn't she charming ! [Listens.] Here she comes. 
[Smiling.] How briskly she trips along, the enchan- 
tress ! Hay ! 



10 THE FEUITS OF EXLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene II. — Gregory and Tanya, with a fur cloak and fancy 

boots. 

Greg. To Miss Tanya my profound respect and greet- 
ing ! 

Tanya. . Why are you eternally looking at yourself in 
the glass ? You must fancy yourself a fascinating young 
man. 

Greg. Well, and am I so terribly ugly ? 

Tanya. Neither fascinating nor ugly. But half-way 
betwixt and between. What are the furs hanging there 
for? 

Greg. I'll put them up, my lady, at once. [Takes 
down a fur cloak and envelops Tanya in it.] Tanya, dear, 
listen to what I've got to say to you. 

Tanya. Keep yourself to yourself. What do you 
mean by running after me in that way ? [Angrily tears 
herself away from him.] I tell you to let me be ! 

Greg. [Looking cautiously around.] Give me a kiss, 
Tanya. 

Tanya. What do you mean by this conduct ? I'll give 

you such a kiss, if you don't take care 

[Raises her hand and aims a blow at his face, 
but misses. Basil Leoniditch rings his 
bell in his room and shouts — Gregory !] 

Tanya. There's Basil Leoniditch calling you. 

Greg. He can wait. He has only rubbed his eyes by 
this time. Now, listen, Tanya, tell me why you don't 
love me. 

Tanya. What love are you dreaming about ? I love 
nobody. 

Greg. Come now, that's a fib. You love Simon, 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 11 

And a splendid choice you've made, too. The butler ! 
an awkward, heavy clod -hopper ! 

Tanya. He's as good as God made him. It's you who 
are envious. 

Basil Leon. [From his room.] Gregory ! 

Greg. Take your time. [To Tanya.] He's a likely 
youth for me to envy ! You have only just begun your 
education, and here you are already hobnobbing with — 
with whom ? How different things would be if it was 
me you loved. Tanya, dear 

Tanya. [Curtly.] I tell you you are only wasting your 
time. 

Basil Leon. [From his room.] Gregory ! 

Greg. You are awfully straight-laced in your be- 
havior. 

Basil Leon. [Shouting from his room unceasingly, mo- 
notonously, and with all his strength.] Gregory! Greg- 
ory ! Gregory ! 

[Tanya and Gregory burst out laughing.] 

Tanya. You'd better go to him and leave me alone. 

Greg. Well, you are a silly girl. I'm not Simon. 

Tanya. Simon means marriage and none of your tom- 
foolery. 

Scene IH. — Gregory, Tanya, and a Clerk ivho is carrying 
a large pasteboard box with a dress inside. 

Clerk. Good-morning ! 
Greg. Good-morning! Whom is this from ? 
Clerk. From Bourdet's ; and here's a note for the 
mistress. 

Tanya. [Taking the note.] Sit down. I'll take it in. 

[Exit. 



12 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene IV. — The same, and Basil Leoniditch emerging 
from the half-opened door, in shirt and slippers. 

Basil Leon. Gregory ! 
Greg. Coming ! 

Basil Leon. Gregory ! Is it possible you are stone 
deaf? 

Greg. I've only just come, sir. 
Basil Leon. Bring hot water and tea. 
Greg. Simon will fetch them directly, sir. 
Basil Leon. And what's this ? From Bourdet's ? 
Clerk. Yes, sir, from Bourdet's. 

[Exeunt Basil Leoniditch and Gregory. The 
bell rings.] 

Scene V. — The Clerk and Tanya, who runs in at the sound 
of the bell, and opens the door. 

Tanya. [To the Clerk.] Wait a little. 
Clerk. I'm doing that as it is. 

Scene VI. — The foregoing and Sakhatoff, who enters the 

door. 

Tanya. I'm very sorry, but the lackey has just gone 
for a moment. But won't you come in ? Allow me, 
please. 

[Taking of his fur coat.] 
Sakh. [Putting himself to rights.] Is Leonidas Feo- 
dorovitch at home? Is he up? 
[The bell rings.] 
Tanya. Oh, certainly, long ago, sir. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 13 



Scene VII. — The foregoing. The Doctor enters. 

Doctor. [Looks around for the lackey. As soon as he 
perceives Sakhatoff he turns to him, and speaking in a free 
and easy way.] Ah ! my best respects. 

Sakh. [Looking steadfastly at him.] The doctor, I 
believe ? 

Doctor. Why, I thought you were abroad. Dropped 
in upon Leonidas Feodorovitch ? 

Sakh. Yes. And you, too ? Is there anyone ill ? 

Doctor. [Smiling.] Not exactly ill ; but you know 
what terrible creatures ladies are. She, for instance, 
sits up every night till three o'clock in the morning at 
the card-table, playing screw,* and she tortures herself 
in order to be able to sport a wasp's waist, stout and 
heavily built though she is. And I need not tell you 
that she is not precisely in the prime of youth. 

Sakh. Are you as frank as that when you are giving 
Anna Pavlovna herself your diagnosis? Sincerity in 
that case is a virtue she scarcely relishes, I imagine. 

Doctor. [Smiling.] Well, it's a fact, you know. It's 
the old story. And after playing all these and a hun- 
dred other pranks, we hear of the digestion being out 
of order, of a heavy pressure on the liver, of the nerves 
being in rebellion, and heaven knows what more — and 
then comes the doctor's turn ; he has to put all these 
things to rights again as best he may. It's a positive 

* Russian — vmt. A very complicated and a very fascinating 
game of cards, invented in Siberia, where time lies heavy on the 
hands of tschinovrichs, merchants and farmers, especially in win- 
ter. 



14 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

calamity to have anything to do with these ladies. 
[Laughs.'] Well, and what are you up to ? You, too, 
are a spiritist of the spiritists, I believe ? 

Sakh. I ? No, I am not a spiritist of the spiritists. 
. . . Good-morning ! 

[Is about to go, but the Doctor stops him.] 
Doctor. No, but you know, I don't entirely deny it 
either, when people like Kroogosvetloff have a hand in 
it. By no means. He is a professor, a European ce- 
lebrity. There is undoubtedly something in it. I have 
often wished to have a look at the phenomena and form 
an opinion for myself on the subject, but I have been 
always prevented by one thing or another. 
Sakh. Quite so, quite so. Good-morning ! 

[Exit, slightly saluting the Doctor as he goes.] 
Doctor. [To Tanya.] Is she up? 
Tanya. In the bedroom. Please come up. 

[Sakhatoff and the Doctor leave the room by 
opposite doors.] 

Scene VIII. — The Clerk, Tanya, and Feodor Ivanitch, 
who enters with the newspaper in his hand. 

Feod, Ivan. [To the Clerk.] Who are you ? 

Clerk. I'm from Bourdet's. I've come with the dress 
and with a note ; and I've been told to wait. 

Feod. Ivan. Ah! from Bourdet's. [To Tanya.] Who 
was that that came in a moment ago ? 

Tanya. Sergius Ivanitch Sakhatoff and the Doctor. 
They stayed a few minutes here and chatted together. 
It was all about spiritualism. 

Feod. Ivan. [Correcting her.] About spiritualism. 



TEE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 15 

Tanya. Yes, that's what I'm saying, about spr 'dual- 
ism. Did you hear, Feodor Ivanitch, how well it all 
went off last time? [Laughs.] There was no end of 
knocks and thumps, and didn't the things fly about in 
style ! My ! 

Feod. Ivan. How do you know that ? 

Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna told me all about it. 

Scene IX. — Foregoing and James, the Butler, who rushes 
in with a glass of tea. 

James. [To Clerk.] Good-morning. 
Clerk:. [Mournfully.] Good-morning, 

[James knocks at Basil Leoniditch's door.] 

Scene X. — Foregoing and Gregory. 

Greg. Give it here. 

James. You have not yet brought back the glasses 
you took yesterday, nor the tray either, from Basil Leon- 
iditch. I shall be questioned about them. 

Greg. He has cigars on the tray. 

James. Well, and can't you take them off and put 
them elsewhere? It's me that's got to be responsible 
for them. 

Greg. All right, I'll bring them back. 

James. That's just it. You are always saying " I'll 
bring them back," but they're not brought back yet, for 
all that. They were missed a short time ago, and I had 
nothing to serve the tea things on. 

Greg. I'll fetch them, I tell you. What a fuss you do 
make ! 



16 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

James. It's easy for you to talk in that way ; but look 
here, that's the third time as I've had to serve the tea and 
the lunch. It's all one rush and run, from morning to 
night and from night to morning. Is there anyone in 
the whole house that's got more to do than myself ? 
And there's no pleasing them, no matter what you do. 
I'm not worth my salt, if you believe what they say. 

Greg. Ain't you, now ? You're a precious acquisition, 
that's what you are. Who could be better? 

Tanya. [To Gregory.] No one is worth anything in 
your eyes. There's nobody but yourself that 

Greg. [To Tanya.] Your opinion was not asked. 

[Exit. 

Scene XI. — Tanya, James, Clerk, and Feodor 
Ivanitch. 

James. It doesn't matter. I'm sure I'm not offended. 
Miss Tanya, the mistress didn't say anything about yes- 
terday's business, eh ? 

Tanya. You mean about the lamp ? 

James. And how it slipped from my hands, God only 
knows. I was wiping it at the time, and was going to 
catch it with my other hand, when all of a sudden it 
leaped away, like, and was shivered in pieces before my 
eyes. It's all my ill-luck. It's all well enough for him, 
for Michael Michailovitch, I mean, to talk as he does. 
He is alone, with his life in his hands ; but how would 
it be if he had a family to hang on to him ? There's no 
shaking that off. You've got to think and puzzle your 
brains how you'll keep them from starving ? I'm not 
afraid of work, I'm not. So she said nothing about it ? 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 17 

God be praised for that same. And the spoons, Feodor 
Ivanitch, how many have you, two or one ? 
Feodor Ivan. One, one. 

[Beads the newspaper. Exit James.] 

Scene XII. — Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, and Clerk. The 
ringing of a bell is audible. 

Enter Gregory, with a tray, and the Doorkeeper. 

Doorkeeper. [To Gregory.] Tell the master that peas- 
ants from the country wish to see him. 

Greg. [Pointing to Feodor Ivanitch.] Tell it to him 

there, that's his business ; I have no time for such 

. things. [Exit. 

Scene XIII. — Foregoing, with the exception of Gregory. 

Tanya. Where are the peasants from ? 

Doorkeeper. From the Government of Kursk, I'm 
told. 

Tanya. [With a kind of howl] It's themselves 

It's Simon's father come about the land. I'll go and 
meet them. 

[Buns out.] 

Scene XIV. — The foregoing, except Tanya 

Doorkeeper. What are your instructions ? Am I to 
admit them in here, or what am I to do with them ? 
They tell me they've come about some land, and that 
the master knows all about it. 

Feod. Ivan. Yes, about buying land. That's it. There's 
2 



18 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

a visitor in his room just now. Ill tell you what you 
had better do : tell them to wait. 

Doorkeeper. Where are they to wait ? 

Feod. Ivan. Let them wait in the yard, and then 111 
send round to them. 

[The Doorkeeper goes out.] 

Scene XV. — Feodor Ivanitch and Tanya, followed by three 
Peasants ; Gregory and the Clerk. 

Tanya. To the right. This way, this way ! 
Feod. Ivan. I gave orders that they were not to come 
in here. 

Greg. Right you were, fidget ? 

Tanya. There's no harm done, Feodor Ivanitch, they 
will stand in the corner there. 

Feod. Ivan. They'll trample on the floor and make a 
nice mess. 

Tanya. They rubbed their feet. Besides, I'll rub the 
floor afterward. [To the Peasants.] Stand there. 
[The Peasants enter, bringing as presents, rolled up in hand- 
kerchiefs, sweet Easter loaves, eggs, towels. They hole 
around for an icon before which to cross themselves. 
Seeing none, they turn their faces toward the staircase 
and make the sign of the cross. They salute Feodor 
Ivanitch and then firmly take their stand.] 
Greg. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Feodor Ivanitch! 
People talk about fancy patent boots being made by 
Pironnet, but you just cast your eyes on the pretty little 
moccasins that that fellow has got his feet covered with. 
[He points to the third Peasant in clumsy bast 
shoes.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 19 

Feod. Ivan. Can't you find something better to do 
than to laugh at other people ? 
[Exit Gregory.] 

Scene XVI. — Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, and the three 

Peasants. 

Feod. Ivan. [Rising. and approaching the Peasants.] So 
you are come from Kursk, to arrange about buying 
land? 

- 1st Peas. That's just it. The establishment, belikes, 
of arrangements concerning the termination of the sale 
of land — that's what our business surmounts to. How 
should it be announced, like ? 

Feod. Ivan. That's all right. Leave it to me. You 
just wait here, and I'll tell the master. [Exit. 

Scene XVII. — Tanya and the three Peasants. Behind the 
scene Basil Leoniditch. The Peasants look around 
them, but cannot decide ivhere to put their presents. 

1st Peas. How shall I express it, so to say, the thing 
you hand it round on ; so that it looks genteel like. 
Not concisely a saucer, is it ? 

Tanya. Directly, directly. Give them here. For the 
moment let's put them here. 

[Places them on the sofa.] 

1st Peas. Now, what might be his station, for example, 
the gentleman as came up to us ? 

Tanya. He's the valyet. 

1st Peas. A straight, honest situation is a valyet's. 
He orders and arranges, too, I see. [To Tanya.] And 



20 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

now, would you be one of them, too, as is in service 
here ? 

Tanya. I'm the maidservant, I'm from Demensk as 
well as yourselves, don't you know. I know you, and 
you — only this good man I don't happen to know. 
[Pointing to the 3d Peasant.] 

3d Peas. You rockonized them there, and me you 
don't rockonize? 

Tanya. You are Euthymus Antonitch ? 

1st Peas. There you've verified me, you have. 

Tanya. And you are Simon's parent, Zacharias Tri- 
phonitch ? 

2d Peas. Right! 

3d Peas. And my name will be Dmitry Chillikin. You 
rockonize me now ? 

Tanya. Now we shall know you too. 

2d Peas. Whose girl might you be ? 

Tanya. Aksinia's, the soldier's wife. An orphan. 

1st and 3d Peas. [With astonishment.'] Is it possible? 

2d Peas. It's not for nothing that they say : Buy a 
sucking-pig for a penny, turn it into rye, and you've got 
a fat porker. 

1st Peas. A most voracious saying. You've a sound- 
ing resemblance to a mamzelle, you have. 

3d Peas. That's about it. O Lord, O Lord ! 

Basil Leon. [Behind the scene, rings the bell, and then 
shouts out.] Gregory! Gregory! 

1st Peas. Who might that be, for example, as ruffles 
and perturbs himself in that fashion ? 

Tanya. That's the young master. 

3d Peas. O Lord ! I said we had better wait outside, 
till we were brought in. [Silence.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 21 

2d Peas. It's you as Simon's taking to wife, isn't it ? 

Tanya. Did he write home that he was ? 

[Covers her face ivith Iter apron.] 

2d Peas. He must have, if I know it. But it's not fol- 
lies of that kind he should be filling his mind with. 
The fellow is getting spoiled, I see. 

Tanya. [Vivaciously.] No, he's not getting spoiled. 
Would you like me to send him to you ? 

2d Peas. Why send him all of a sudden ? Give us 
time. We're not in a hurry to go back yet. 

[Basil Leoniditch is heard desperately shouting out at 
the top of his voice.] Gregory ! Gregory ! the devil take 
you! 

Scene XVIII. — The foregoing. Basil Leoniditch is seen 
standing at the half-opened door in his shirt, adjusting 
his pince-nez. 

Basil Leon. Are you all dead ? 

Tanya. He's not here, sir. ... I will send him to 
you directly. 

[Moves toward the door.] 
Basil Leon. I hear a conversation going on. What 
scarecrows are those there ? Eh ? 

Tanya. They are peasants, sir, from the government 
of Kursk. 

Basil Leon. [Looking at the Clerk.] And who's that? 
Oh, he's from Bourdet's. 

[TJie Peasants make a low bow. Basil Leoni- 
ditch does not vouchsafe them the least 
notice. Gregory meets Tanya at the 
door. Tanya remains.] 



22 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XIX. — The foregoing and Geegory. 

Basil Leon. I told you I wanted the other boots. I 
can't wear these. 

Greg. The others are standing there too. 

Basil Leon. Where, there ? 

Greg. There. 

Basil Leon. You lie ! 

Greg. Well, you'll see they are. 

[Exeunt Basil Leoniditch and Gregory. 

Scene XX. — The foregoing, except Basil Leoniditch and 

Gregory. 

3d Peas. I am thinking it's better we were gone from 
here, and well come again. It's not the right time 
now, don't you see ? 

Tanya. No, don't stir. Wait a while. I'll bring you 
a plate for your presents. [Exit. 

Scene XXI. — Tlie foregoing, Sakhatoff, Leonidas Feodor- 
ovttch, and after them Feodor Ivanitch. The 
Peasants gather up their presents and stand in a row, 
in position. 

Leon. Feod. [To the Peasants.] Directly, directly. 
Wait a bit. [To the Clerk.] What's this ? 

Clerk. From Bourdet's. 

Leon. Feod. Ah ! from Bourdet's. 

Sakh. [Smiling.'] Oh, of course, I am far from de- 
nying it ; but you will allow that for one of us profane 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 23 

t people, who have never witnessed the wonders you re- 
late, it is no easy matter to believe. 

Leon. Feod. You say you cannot believe. We don't 
require that you should. It is investigation, not belief 
that we are asking for. For instance, it is impossible 
for me not to believe in the existence of this ring. And 
yet this ring was received by me from there. 

Sakh. What do you understand by "from there?" 
Where did you get it from ? 

Leon. Feod. From the other world. Yes, I assure 
you, it's a fact. 

Sakh. [Smiling.] It is very interesting, very inter- 
esting. 

Leon. Feod. As for me, insignificant individual that I 
am, you may naturally enough look upon me as a vis- 
ionary deluding myself with a belief in the reality of 
things that are not. But surely that will not apply to 
Alexis Vladimirovitch Krooglosvetloff. I think you will 
scarcely go so far as to put him on a level with the man 
in the street — he is a learned professor, and yet he ad- 
mits the truth of all that. And remember he is not 
alone. What do you say to Crookes, to Wallace? 

Sakh. Oh, I don't dispute it in the least, I only say 
that it is very interesting. I should very much like to 
know how Krooglosvetloff explains it. 

Leon. Feod. He has his own theory on the subject. 
But you just drop in this evening ; he is sure to be 
here. First of all, Grossman will be here — you know, 
the celebrated thought-reader. 

Sakh. Yes, I have heard of him, but I never saw him 
yet. 

Leon, Feod, So much the better ; the stronger the 



24 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

reason for coming this evening. Grossman will come 
first ; then Kaptshitsh, and afterward our mediumistic 
seance will begin. [ To Feodor Ivanitch.] Has the 
messenger come back who was sent to Kaptshitsh? 

Feod. Ivan. Not yet, sir. 

Sakh. How shall I know ? 

Leon. Feod. Come in any case. If Kaptshitsh doesn't 
turn up we shall have our own medium. Mary Ignati- 
evna is a medium ; not quite such a powerful one as 
Kaptshitsh, but still 

Scene XXH. — The foregoing and Tanya, who enters with 
plates for the presents. She listens to the conversa- 
tion. 

Sakh. [Smiling.] Yes, I know. But just tell me 
this. How is it that all mediums are members of the 
cultivated classes ? Kaptshitsh and Mary Ignatievna, 
for instance. If mediumism is a real force it ought to 
be found everywhere among the people, among the 
peasants as well as the rest. 

Leon. Feod. And that is the case. It often happens 
that we have but one peasant in our house, and he has 
turned out to be a medium. The other day we sent for 
him during a seance. We wanted to move the sofa, and 
we had forgotten all about him. He had probably 
fallen asleep. And would you believe it, our seance 
was over, Kaptshitsh was awake, and suddenly, without 
a note of warning, we observed mediumistic phenomena 
at the other end of the room : the table stirred and 
moved forward. 

Tanya. [Aside.] That was when I crept from under it. 



THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 25 

Leon. Feod. It is evident that he, too, is a medium ; 
the more so that his face bears a striking resemblance 
to Hume's. You recollect Hume, the light-haired naive 
man ? 

Sakh. [Shrugging his shoulders.'] Really, really? It's 
awfully interesting, you know. Why don't you test his 
powers ? 

Leon. Feod. We do test them. Besides, he is not 
the only one. There are no end of mediums, my dear 
fellow, only we don't just happen to know them. For 
instance, it is only a few days since that an elderly 
woman moved a stone wall. 

Sakh. Moved a stone — a stone wall? 

Leon. Feod. Precisely. She was tying in bed, and 
had not the faintest suspicion that she was a medium. 
She simply leant her arm against the wall and it moved 
some distance off. 

Sakh. And did not tumble down ? 

Leon. Feod. And did not tumble down. 

Sakh. It is strange ! All right, then, I'll be with you 
this evening. 

Leon. Feod. Do come, old boy, don't forget. What- 
ever else may happen, there is sure to be a seance. 

[Sakhatoff puts on his overcoat. Leonidas 
Feodorovitch accompanies him.] 

Scene XXHI. — The foregoing, with the exception of 
Sakhatoff. 

Clerk. [To Tanya.] Tell the mistress I'm here. Am 
I expected to pass the night in this house ? 

Tanya. Wait a little. Her ladyship is going out for a 



26 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

drive with the young lady ; so she will be here in a 
minute. [Exit 

Scene XXIV. — The same, excepting Tanya. 

Leon. Feod. [Approaching the Peasants, who make a 
low bow and offer him the presents they have brought.'] I 
don't want these things ! 

1st Peas. [Smiling.] That is our first obligation and 
primeval duty, as it were. Just as the Commune in- 
structed us. 

2d Peas. It's always done in these cases. 

3d Peas. Don't mention it ! Because as we, so to 

say, are very satisfied As you parents, as the saying 

is, served your parents, so to say, so is it our best 

wishes from the bottom of our heart, like, not as if 

[Makes a low bote] 

Leon. Feod. What is it that you have come about ? 
What are your wishes ? 

1st Peas. We've come to your honor, as it were. 

Scene XXV. — Hie foregoing and Peteishtsheff, who 
rushes in breathless, in a mantle of military cut. 

Petr. Is Basil Leoniditch awake ? 

[Perceiving Leonidas Feodorovitch, he nods 
a salutation to him.] 
Leon. Feod. You want to see my son ? 
Petr. I? Yes, I've come for a moment to see Vovo. 
Leon. Feod. Come in, come in. 

[Petrishtsheff takes off his mantle and goes 
rapidly into Basil's room.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 27 

Scene XXVI. — The foregoing, excepting Petiushtsheff. 

Leon. Feod. [To the Peasants.] Yes, I see. Well, 
then, what is that you want ? 

2d Peas. Take our presents. 

1st Peas. [Smiling.] It signifies that they are what 
the village offers you. 

3d Peas. Don't mention it. It's nothing to make 
much ado about. We look on you as a father, belike. 
Don't mention it. 

Leon. Feod. Well, I suppose there's nothing for it 

Feodor, take these things. 

Feodor Ivan. Give them here. 
[Takes the presents.'] 

Leon. Feod. Now let's come to business. What's it 
all about? 

1st Peas. We've come to your honor. 

Leon. Feod. How am I to understand you ? You are 
buying land, I take it? 

1st Peas. Identicately, as you've expressed it. It 
comes to pass, consequentially regarding the purchase 
of propiortary rights in the land. So that the Com- 
mune, as it were, authorizes and authenticates us, for 
example, to enter into poor parlors, as by law estab- 
lished through the Imerpial bank, affixing thereunto a 
revenue stamp with the date aforesaid. 

Leon. Feod. In other words, you want to buy land 
through the bank. Is that it ? 

1st Peas. Exactly, as in the summer you proposed to 
offer. The upshot of which, as it were, is the entire 
sum in its totality, amounting to 32,864 roubles, for the 
acresition of the rights of proprietor. 



28 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Leon. Feod. That is right enough, but how about 
the payment of that sum ? 

1st Peas. The payment, the Commune suggests to 
propose that in ready money should be paid down 4,000 
roubles, to the last copeck, the rest in 'stalments as was 
established by propersition last summer, as it were. 

2d Peas. Take your 4,000 now, that is to say, and 
wait for the rest. 

3d Peas. [Spreading out the rouble notes.] You may 
rest easy in hopes, we pledge ourselves, rather than 
anything of that kind, that we should turn round and 
say so and so, belikes, but we will, you may trust— — - 
as we are in bounden duty. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, but I wrote to you and stated dis- 
tinctly that I am not willing to do business with you 
until you have got the whole sum together. 

1st Peas. It's perfectly voracious that that would be 
more pleasant, but it is not within the grounds of possi- 
bility. 

Leon. Feod. What's to be done ? 

1st Peas. The Commune was sanguinary in the pre- 
sumption that the proposition last summer that in 'stal- 
ments the sum 

Leon Feod. That was last year. I consented then. I 
cannot do so now. 

2d Peas. How's that ? You promised, and we got 
the papers ready and scraped the money together. 

3d Peas. Be merciful unto us, father. Our land is 
scanty. No place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor 
a hen, for the matter of that. [Makes a low bow.] Don't 
commit a sin, father. 

[Bows low.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 29 

Leon. Feod. It's quite true that I consented last sum- 
mer to accept the price in part payments spread over a 
considerable time, but that was owing to a peculiar 

circumstance It would be inconvenient for me to do 

so now. 

2d Peas. Without that land we might just as well de- 
prive ourselves of life. 

1st Peas. Veridically so. Our subsistence will other- 
wise decline and decay. 

3d Peas. [Bowing low.] Father, our land is scanty. 
No place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, 
for the matter of that. Father, be merciful unto us. 
Take the money, father. 

Leon. Feod. [Looking at the document.] I understand 
all that perfectly well, and I am anxious myself to do 
you a good turn. Wait a little. I'll give you a reply in 
half an hour. Feodor, say I'm not at home to anyone. 

Feod. Ivan. Very well, sir. [Exit Leon. Feod. 

Scene XXVII. — The foregoing, excepting Leonid as Feo- 
dorovitch. The Peasants visibly depressed. 

2d Peas. A nice job it is. Fork out every copeck of 
it, he says. But where are you to get it from ? 

1st Peas. If only he hadn't conspired us with hope 
last summer. But we were sanguinary that it was the 
proposition he made in summer. 

3d Peas. O Lord ! And there was me smoothing out 
the money. [Folding wp the banknotes.] And now, 
what are we going to do ? 

Feod. Ivan. What is it all about ? 

1st Peas. The whole transaction is contagient, belike, 



30 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

on this. He offered last summer to wait for the money. 
The Commune deliverated over it and authorized us. 
And now he demands the whole sum in its totality. 
And the consurmation of the enterprise becomes an im- 
possibility. 

Feod. I fan. Have you much money to offer him? 

1st Peas. The whole amount, four thousand roubles, 
now ready for exceptation. 

Feod. Ivan. What's the difficulty ? Save up again and 
collect till you've got enough. 

1st Peas. As it is, we collected very vehemently. 
There's not much gunpowder in your reflections, sir. 

2d Peas. If you haven't got the money, you can't spin 
it with your teeth. 

3d Peas. We'd be only too happy, from the .bottom 
of our hearts, and we may say as what it was with the 
broom, belike, that we swept together what we've got 
here to give him. 

Scene XXVIII. — The foregoing, Basil Leoniditch, and 
Petkishtsheff. [At the door, both smoking cigarettes.] 

Basil Leon. I have already said I would. I will do 
my best. I will leave no stone unturned. But why ? 

Petr. Take my word for it, if you don't get it by hook 
or by crook — well, the devil only knows what a bad 
business it will be. 

Bas. Leon. I told you I would do my very best, and I 
will. But why so ? 

Petk. Oh, it does not signify. I'm only saying that 
you should get it at any price. I'll wait. 

[Exit, closing the door after him. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 31 



Scene XXIX. — The foregoing , without Petrishtsheff. 

Basil Leon. [Waving his hand.] D — it, it is an 
abominable bore. [The Peasants bow low to him.] 

Basil Leon. [Looking at the Clerk, to Feodor Ivan- 
itch.] Why don't you let this man from Bourdet's go 
about his business ? Has he moved into our house for 
good? Look there, he's fast asleep. What have you 
got to say? 

Feod. Ivan. He had a note ; it was handed in and he 
was ordered to wait. When Anna Pavlovna leaves her 
room, he will be attended to. 

Basil Leon. [Looking at the Peasants and wistfully ey- 
ing the money.'] What's this ? Money, eh ? Whom is 
it for? Is that money for us? [To Feodor Ivanitch.] 
Who are these? 

Feod. Ivan. Peasants from Kursk ; they are come to 
buy land. 

Basil Leon. Has it been sold to them ? 

Feod. Ivan. No, not yet. They are acting niggardly 
and won't pay down the money at once. 

Basil Leon. Ah ! I must talk them over. [To the 
Peasants.] You are buying, eh ? 

1st Peas. We are negotiating the proposition of the 
acresition of propriortary rights in the possession of the 
land. 

Basil Leon. Well, then, don't go about it in a miserly 
way. Believe me, you have no idea how necessary the 
land is to the peasants. What do you think, eh ? It is 
extremely necessary. 

1st Peas. Undoubtedly, indeed, land is the very first 



32 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

and foremost foundational want of the peasant. That's 
sure enough. 

Basil Leon. You see that, now. Well, then, don't 
be close-fisted. What is land ? You can sow wheat in 
ridges, on it, you know. Three hundred poods* you 
can sow, a rouble a pood, three hundred roubles. How 
does that strike you ? Or else mint, if you prefer it, to 
the tune of a thousand roubles the acre ! 

1st Peas. That is very undisputable, all cattlegorries 
of products you can sow, if you are possessed of the 
conception how to operate on it. 

Basil Leon. Decidedly mint. I studied all about that 
in books, you know. It is printed in books. I'll show 
it to you. What do you say now ? 

1st Peas. We are convicted that all what's impertain- 
ing to books is best beknown to you — erringdition, as 
it's called. 

Basil Leon. Well then, buy. Don't be mean, but pay 
the money down. [To Feodok Ivanitch.] Where is papa? 

Feod. Ivan. In his study. He gave orders that he 
was not to be disturbed. 

Basil Leon. He is probably inquiring of the spirit 
whether he should sell the land or not, eh ? 

Feod. Ivan. That I'm unable to say. I know he was 
undecided when he went to his room. 

Basil Leon. What do you think, Feodor Ivanitch, is 
he flush of money now ? 

Feod. Ivan. I can't say. I should think not. But why 
need you care ? It's only last week that you had a 
rather large pile for yourself. 

* A pood is a Russian weight equivalent to about thirty-three 
English pounds. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 33 

Basil Leon. You know I spent that on the dogs. And 
here now is our new society in full swing ; and Petrisht- 
3heff is elected ; and I borrowed money of him, and now 
I've got to pay the money for him and for myself. How 
does that strike you ? 

Feod. Ivan. What new society is that ? The Bicycle 
Club? 

Basil Leon. No ; I'll tell you directly. It's a new so- 
ciety. An extremely serious society, I may say. And 
do you know who is president ? Eh ? 

Feod. Ivan. What is it for, what are its objects ? 

Basil Leon. A society for the encouragement of the 
breeding of ancient canine Kussian dogs. How does 
that strike you ? What's more, to-day the first meeting 
and lunch come off. But, hang it, I'm out of money. 
I'll go to him to see whether I can raise anything there. 

[Exit. 

Scene XXX. — The Peasants, Feodor Ivanitch, and the 

Clerk. 

1st Peas. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Who might that gen- 
tleman be ? 

Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.] The young master. 

3d Peas. The heir, you may say. O Lord ! [Hides the 
money.] Better put it up, I can see, for the present. 

1st Peas. They told us he was a military officer in the 
service of the cavalry, as it were. 

Feod. Ivan. No ; as an only son he is exempt from 
military service. 

3d Peas. Left at home, that is, to maintain his pa- 
rents. That is what it is. 
3 



34 THE FRUITS DF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

2d Peas. [Shaking his head.] Just the man to main- 
tain them, that's sure. 
3d Peas. Lord ! 

Scene XXXI. — Feodor Ivanitch, the three Peasants, Basil 

Leoniditch, who is standing on the threshold along 
ivith Leonidas Feodorovitch. 

Basil Leon. The old story. It's always so. Con- 
foundedly queer it is, too. At one time I'm asked why 
I'm loafing about doing nothing. And here now, when 
I've found an occupation and am busy at it — a society 
is founded, a serious society with noble aims — I am 
grudged a miserable three hundred roubles.* 

Leon. Feod. I told you I can't, and I can't. I haven't 
got the money ; that's the long and the short of it. 

Basil Leon. Why, you've sold the land, just now. 

Leon. Feod. In the first place, I did not sell the land ; 
in the second place, leave me in peace. I told you I 
have no time now. 

[Bangs the door.] 

Scene XXXII. — The foregoing, without Leonidas Feodo- 
rovitch. 

Feod. Ivan. I told you that this was not the proper 
time. 

Basil Leon. A nice position, I can tell you. Eh? 
I'll go to mamma — that's my only hope of salvation. 
Father is going crazy with his spiritualism, he is posi- 
tively forgetting us all. 

[Goes upstairs. Feodor Ivanitch sits down 
to his newspaper.] 

* Thirty pounds. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 35 



Scene XXXIII. — The foregoing. Betsy and Mary Kon- 
stantinovna are seen coming downstairs. They are 
followed by Gregory. 

Betsy. Is the carriage ready ? 

Greg. It is being brought up to the door. 

Betsy. [To Mary Konstantinovna.] Come, come ! I 
saw that it was himself. 

Mary Konst. Who is himself ? 

Betsy. You know well enough that I mean Petrisht- 
sheff. 

Mary Konst. Where is he ? 

Betsy. Sitting in Vovo's room. In a moment you'll 
see him. 

Mary Konst. What if it's not himself ? 

[The Peasants make a loiv bow.'] 

Betsy. [To the Clerk] Ah, you are from Bourdet's, 
with the dress ? 

Clerk. Yes, miss. Do you order it to be taken in, 
and me to be allowed to go ? 

Betsy. Oh, that's not my affair. Mamma will see to 
that. It's for mamma. 

Clerk. I don't know anything about that, miss. My 
orders were to deliver it here and get paid for it. 

Betsy. Very well, wait a while. 

Mary Konst. Is this the dress we were talking about? 
The dress for the charade ? 

Betsy. Yes, a charming costume it is. But mamma 
won't take it, and doesn't want to pay for it. 

Mary Konst. Why not ? 

Betsy. You had better ask her. Five hundred rou- 



36 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

bles is a trifle to pay for Vovo's dogs, but a hundred 
roubles for a costume for me is decreed exorbitant. I 
cannot play a part in the charade dressed like a scare- 
crow ! [Pointing to the Peasants.] And who are these ? 

Greg. Peasants, come to buy some land. 

Betsy. I took them for huntsmen. You are not 
sportsmen ? 

1st Peas. Not by no means, miss. We are come con- 
cerning the termination of the sale of the lease of the 
land to Leonidas Feodorovitch. 

Betsy. How is that, when I know that sportsmen were 
to come to Vovo ? Are you quite sure you are not 
sportsmen? [The Peasants remain silent.'] What block- 
heads ! [Goes up to the door and shouts.'] Vovo ! 

[Laughs. 

Mary Konst. Why, it is only a moment since we met 
him. 

Betsy. What need is there of reminding me of that ? 
Vovo, are you here ? 

Scene XXXIV. — The foregoing and Petrishtsheff. 

Petr. Vovo is not here, but I am prepared to act in 
his name and to execute everything required. Good- 
morning ! Good-morning, Mary Konstantinovna ! 

[Shakes Betsy's hand a long time and violent- 
ly ; then Mary Konstantinovna' s.] 

2d Peas. You'd swear he was shaking the handle of a 
pump. 

Betsy. You cannot take his place, but still you are 
better than nothing. [Laughs.] What is this business 
of yours with Vovo ? 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 37 



Petr. Business ? It is business of a financial - 



mean, that is to say, our business is fie ! and at the 
same time nancial, and besides that, financial. 

Betsy. What does nancial mean ? 

Petr. What a question ! That's the point of the 
thing that it does not mean anything. 

Betsy. That's not a successful pun ; not at all success- 
ful. [Laughs.] 

Petr. You cannot expect a successful one every time, 
you know. It is a kind of lottery. It is blank, blank, 
blank for a time, and then suddenly a prize. 

[Feodor Ivanitch enters Leoneoas Feodoro- 
vitch's study.] 

Scene XXXV. — The foregoing, without Feodor 
Ivanitch. 

Betsy. Anyhow, that was not a prize. But tell me, 
were you at the Mergassoffs yesterday ? 

Petr. Not so much at the Mere Gassoff as at the Fire 
Gassoff, and not even the Fere Gassoff, but the Fits 
Gassoff. 

Betsy. Can't you possibly get on without a pun ? It's 
a positive disease. Were the Gypsies * there ? [Laughs.] 

Petr. [Singing.] " On their aprons cocks with golden 
combs." 

Betsy. How lucky you are. W T e were being bored at 
Fofo's yesterday. 

Petr. [Continuing to sing.] " And she swore a solemn 

* Gypsies. These are often invited to sing for the guests at 
evening parties in St. Petersburg and Moscow. Their repertoire 
is exceedingly, and not undeservedly, popular. — [Trans.] 



38 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

oath she'd be faithful to me." "What's the next line ? 

Mary Konstantinovna, what's the next line ? 

Mary Konst. " For a fleeting hour " 

Petr. What? What, Mary Konstantinovna? 

[Bursts out laughing.'] 
Betsy. Cessez, vous devenez impossible. 

Petr. J'ai cesse, j'ai bebe, j'ai dede 

Betsy. I know one way to make you leave off pun- 
ning — that is, to make you sing. Come to Vovo's room ; 
he has a guitar. Come , Mary Konstantinovna, come 
along ! 

[Betsy, Mary Konstantinovna, and Petrisht- 
sheff enter Basil Leoniditch's room.] 

Scene XXXVI. — Gregory, the three Peasants, and the 
Clerk. 

1st Peas. W 7 ho might they be ? 

Greg. One of them is the young lady, the other is the 
mamzelle who teaches her music. 

1st Peas. Promotes her in science, as it were. How 
tidy she is. A jenny ing portrait. 

2d Peas. Why don't they marry her off? She is of 
age, if I'm not out. 

Greg. We don't live in the country. Girls don't 
marry here when they are fifteen. 

1st Peas. And that makings of a man — would he be 
a musician, like ? 

Greg. A musician like ! . . . You know nothing 
about these matters. 

1st Peas. That's a verity. It's our stupidness and 
want of eddication. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 39 

3d Peas. O Lord ! 
[From Basil Leoniditch's room the music of a guitar is 
audible and the singing of gypsy songs.] 

Scene XXXVII. — The foregoing and the Clerk. Simon 
comes in followed by Tanya. Tanya watches carefully 
the meeting between father and son. 

Greg. What do you want here ? 
Simon. I've been sent to Mr. Kaptshitsh. 
Greg. Well, and what's the answer? 
Simon. He ordered me to say that he could not possi- 
bly come to-day. 

Greg. All right, I'll deliver the message. [Exit. 

Scene XXXVIII. — The same, without Gregory. 

Simon. [To his father.'] Hope you're well, father. 
Best respects, Uncle Ephimius and Uncle Dmitry. All 
well at home ? 

2d Peas. Bight well, Simon. 

1st Peas. Well, brother? 

3d Peas. Well, lad. Are you alive ? 

Simon. [Smiling.] Come along, father, let's have 
some tea. 

2d Peas. Wait till we get our hands free. Don't you 
see we've no time now ? 

Simon. All right, I'll be waiting for you outside on 
the steps. [Exit. 

Tanya. [Running after him.] Why didn't you men- 
tion it now ? 



40 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Simon. How could I talk of it now before them all ? 
Give me time. When we go to have a glass of tea, I'll 
speak of it. [Exit. 

Scene XXXIX. — The foregoing, without Simon. Feodor 
Ivanitch" appears and sits down near the window with 
his newspaper. 

1st Peas. Could you say, good sir, how our business 
is progressing ? 

Feod. Ivan. Patience ; in a few minutes he will leave 
his room. He is just finishing. 

Tanya. [To Feodor IvanitchJ And how do you know, 
Feodor Ivanitch, that he is finishing? 

Feod. Ivan. I know because, when all the questions 
are over, he always reads aloud all the questions and 
the answers. 

Tanya. Is it really true, that with a plate you can talk 
with the spirits ? 

Feod. Ivan. It must be true, if it's done. 

Tanya. Well, and if they tell him to sign the paper, 
he will sign it? 

Feod. Ivan. Of course he will. 

Tanya. But they don't talk in words ? 

Feod. Ivan. With an alphabet. When they stop at a 
letter, he notes it. 

Tanya. And how is it he's in a seance ? 

Scene XL. — The foregoing and Leonidas Feodorovitch. 

Leon. Feod. Well, my friends, I cannot. I should 
very much like to, but I cannot. If you bring the full 
sum, then it will be different. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 41 

1st Peas. That would be the desirablest thing, indeed, 
you rightly observe, but the people are poor and it's 
impossible. 

Leon. Feod. I cannot, I cannot possibly. Here is the 
document ; I cannot sign it. 

3d Peas. Take pity on us, father, have mercy on us ! 

2d Peas. Is that a square way of acting ? It's an in- 
sult, it is. 

Leon. Feod. It is not an insult, brothers. I told you 
last summer that if you wanted it done, you ought to 
do it then. You refused, and now I cannot consent. 

3d Peas. Father, have mercy on us ! How are we to 
live now ? The land is scanty, there's no place to turn 
a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of 
that. 

[Leonidas Feodokovitch, about to leave the 
room, stands on the threshold of the door.] 

Scene XLI. — The foregoing. The Mistress of the house 
and the Doctor coming downstairs, followed by Basil 
Leoniditch in a cheerful and playful humor. He is 
putting money into his purse. 

Mistress. [Laced up tight ; hat on head,] So I'm to 
take it. 

Doctor. If you have a repetition of the symptoms, by 
all means take it. But above all things, turn over a new 
leaf. How can you expect a thick syrup to pass through 
a thin little hair-tube, if we squeeze the tube ? It's im- 
possible. It's just the same with the biliary duct. It 
is a very simple thing. 

Mistress. Very well, very well. 



42 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Doctor. It is always " Very well, very well," and 
everything goes on as before ; but it cannot always go 
on like that. No, no, it's impossible. Good-by. 

Mistress. No, not good-by, but only an revoir. I ex- 
pect to see you in the evening, you know. Without 
your presence and advice, I shall not be able to summon 
up resolution enough. 

Doctor. All right, all right, if I have time, I'll look 
in. [Exit. 

Scene XLII. — The foregoing, without the Doctor. 

Mistress. [Perceiving the Peasants.] "What's this? 
what's this ? What people are these ? 
[The Peasants bow low.] 

Feod. Ivan. They are peasants from the government 
of Kursk, come to arrange about buying land of Leoni- 
das Feodorovitch. 

Mistress. I can see that they are peasants, but who 
gave them admittance ? 

Feod. Ivan. The master himself gave orders. He was 
here a moment ago, and talked to them about the terms 
of sale. 

Mistress. What sale ? It is not at all necessary to 
sell. But what's infinitely more important than that, 
how dare anyone allow people to walk in here from the 
street ? People from off the streets ! How is it possi- 
ble to admit people into the house who have passed the 
night — heaven knows where. [Grows more excited.] 
Every fold of their clothes, I am convinced, is peopled 
with microbes ; microbes of scarlatina, small-pox mi- 
crobes, diphtheria microbes ! Why, they are from 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 43 

Kursk, actually from the government of Kursk, where 
there is an epidemic of diphtheria — Doctor, Doctor ! 
Call back the Doctor ! 

[Leonidas Feodorovitch goes out, shutting the door behind 
him. Gregory runs out after* the Doctor.] 



Scene XLIII. — The foregoing, ivithout Leonidas Feodoro- 
vitch and Gregory. 

Basil Leon. [Puffing the smoke of his cigarette in the 
faces of the Peasants.] Don't worry, mamma, if you 
like, I will smoke them so thoroughly that the microbes 
will never survive the operation. How does that strike 
you? 

[The Mistress is severely silent, awaiting the 
Doctor's return.] 

Basil Leon. [To the Peasants.] Do you fatten swine ? 
That's a profitable operation, I can tell you ! 

1st Peas. Undoubtingly w r e turn our intention to 
swinish matters at times. 

Basil Leon. Animals like this ; grunt, grunt ! 
[Grunts like a pig.] 

Mistress. Vovo, Vovo, be quiet ! 

Basil Leon. Is it like the real thing ? How does it 
strike you ? 

1st Peas. Undubiously there's a coinciding resem- 
blance like. 

2d Peas. What's the good of it? 

3d Peas. I said it would be far better for us to have 
waited outside, I did. 



44 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XLIV. — The foregoing, the Doctor, and Gregory. 

Doctor. Well, what is the matter now ? What has 
happened ? 

Mistress. You say I must keep from getting excited. 
How is that possible, I ask ? I have kept aloof from my 
sister, refusing to see her, and I keep away from all 
doubtful visitors most scrupulously. And here, if you 
please, without word or warning, are people from Kursk, 
straight from Kursk, where there is an epidemic of diph- 
theria, who come into the heart of my house ! 

Doctor. You allude to these Trojans ? 

Mistress. Yes, straight from a place infected with 
diphtheria. 

Doctor. Certainly, if they have come from a district 
infected with diphtheria, it is rash of them to enter the 
house ; but still there is no reason why you should worry 
yourself too much about it. 

Mistress. But you yourself are always prescribing 
caution. 

Doctor. Certainly, no doubt, but still there are no 
grounds for becoming excited. 

Mistress. How so? Thorough disinfection is indis- 
pensable, I presume. 

Doctor. No, not complete disinfection. That is rather 
expensive ; three hundred roubles, and probably more. 
I will satisfy all the requirements of the case more 
cheaply and more effectually. Take to a large bottle of 
water 

Mistress. Boiled water? 

Doctor. It's all the same. Boiled is better Well, 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 45 

take to a large bottle of water a tablespoonful of salicy- 
lic acid, and give orders that everything be washed 
thoroughly that came in contact with them. The Tro- 
jans themselves, of course, you must get rid of at once. 
That's all. Then you may defy the microbes to do their 
worst. Yes, you may also sweeten the air with a glass 
or two of the same liquid through a spray-bottle ; you 
will then see how fresh and pleasant the air is. Per- 
fectly safe. No danger! 

Mistress. Where is Tanya ? Call Tanya. 

Scene XLV. — The foregoing and Tanya. 

Tanya. What are } T our orders, ma'am ? 

Mistress. You know the large bottle in the ■ — room ? 

Tanya. The one from which the washerwoman was 
sprinkled yesterday ? 

Mistress. Quite so ; what other is there ? Well, then, 
go and take that bottle ; but first of all, wash the place 
where they are standing with soap, then with this 

Tanya. Yes, ma'am, I know how. 

Mistress. Then take the spray bottle — But I shall 
be home myself by that time, and I will do it myself. 

Doctor. Do that and have no fear. Good-by, then, 
till this evening ! [Exit. 

Scene XL VI. — The foregoing, without the Doctor. 

Mistress. Turn them out, turn them out. Let the 
very smell of them vanish from here. Out with you, 
out. Go, I say ; what are you gazing at ? 

1st Peas. It's a fact that we, only in our stupidness 
like, the proposition made to us 



46 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Greg. [Ushering them out.] Go now, go. 
2d Peas. Give me my handkerchief. 
3d Peas. O Lord ! I said we had had better wait 
outside, I did. 

[Gregory chucks him out.] 

Scene XLVII. — Mistress, Gregory, Feodor Ivanitch, 
Tanya, Basil Leoniditch, and the Clerk. 

Clerk. [After having made several futile attempts to get 
in a ivord.] Will there be any answer ? 

Mistress. Ah, you are from Bourdet's? [Groiving 
excited.] None, none whatever, and you may take it 
back. I told her that I did not order a costume like 
that, and that I will not permit my daughter to wear it. 

Clerk. I do not know anything about that. I have 
been sent here and I have come. 

Mistress. Go — go now, and take it away with you. I 
will call myself. 

Basil Leon. [Solemnly.] Ambassador from Bourdet's, 
retrace your steps ! 

Clerk. You might have said so long ago. I have 
been five hours waiting here. 

Basil Leon. Ambassador from Bourdet's, retrace your 
steps. 

Mistress. Cease, please. 

[The Clerk leaves.] 

Scene XL VIII. — The foregoing, without the Clerk. 

Mistress. Betsy ! "Where is she ? I always have to 
wait for her. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 47 

Basil Leon. {Crying out loith all his might.] Betsy! 
Petrishtsheff ! Come quickly! Quicker! Quicker! 
How does that strike you? 

Scene XLIX. — The foregoing, Petrishtsheff, Betsy, and 
Mary Konstantinoyna. 

Mistress. I have always got to wait for you. 

Betsy. On the contrary, it is I who am waiting for 
you. 

[Petrishtsheff bows his head only and kisses 
the Mistress's hand. 

Mistress. Good-morning! [To Betsy.] You must 
always have the last word ! 

Betsy. Mamma, if you are in a bad temper, I had 
rather not go out at all. 

Mistress. Are we going out for a drive — yes or no ? 

Betsy. Yes, I suppose there's nothing for it. 

Mistress. Did you see the man from Bourdet's ? 

Betsy. Yes, and I was very glad. I ordered the cos- 
tume, and will wear it wdien it is paid for. 

Mistress. I will not pay for it, nor will I allow you to 
wear an unbecoming costume. 

Betsy. Why unbecoming ? It was becoming before. 
You have an attack of prudery now, mamma. 

Mistress. It is not prudery. Let the bodice be cut 
differently, and then you may wear it. 

Betsy. But, mamma, that is entirely out of the ques- 
tion. 

Mistress. Put on your clothes. 

[They sit down. Gregory draws on their 
boots.'] 



48 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Basil Leon. Mary Konstantinovna ! Do you remark 
how empty the antechamber is ? 

Mary Konst. What about it ? 

[Laughs in anticipation.] 

Basil Leon. Bourdet's man is gone. How does it 
strike you ? Isn't it a good one ? 
[Laughs boisterously.] 

Mistress. Let us be going. [Passes out at the door, 
but instantaneously returns.] Tanya ! 

Tanya. What are your orders, ma'am ? 

Mistress. See that Fiffka does not catch cold while I 
am away. If she wants to be let out, you must first put 
out her yellow dressing-gown. She is not quite well 
to-day. 

Tanya. Yes, ma'am. 

[Exeunt Mistress, Betsy, and Gregory. 

Scene L. — Petrishtsheff, Basil Leoneditch, Tanya, and 
Feodor Iyanitch. 

Petr. Well, did you get it ? 

Basil Leon. With no end of difficulty, I can tell you. 
At first I tried my male parent — he whooped and 
turned me out. Then I repaired to my female parent, 
and got it. It's here. [Slaps his pocket ] If I once set 
my mind on a thing, it won't easily elude my grasp — 
I have the clutch of a dead man. How does that strike 
you ? To-day I expect to get my wolf-hounds. 
[Petrishtsheff and Basil Leoniditch put on their over- 
coats and leave the house. Tanya follows them.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 49 



Scene LI. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. 

Feod. Ivan. Yes, nothing but unpleasantness. How 
is it that they cannot live in harmony? To tell the 
truth, the young generation is not what it might be. 
And the kingdom of women? A short while ago, Leon- 
idas Feodorovitch thought of interfering, but he saw 
that she was in an ecstacy, and he banged the door. A 

man of rare goodness ! Yes, of rare goodness 

What's this? Tanya bringing them back again ! 

Scene LIT. — Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, and the three 
Peasants. 

Tanya. Go in, go in, my good men. It's all right. 

Feod. Ivan. What do you mean by bringing them 
back again ? 

Tanya. How can I help it, little father, Feodor Ivan- 
itch ? Something must be done for them. I'll wash the 
place they stood upon as well after they've been on it 
twice as once. 

Feod. Ivan. Nothing will come of it. I can see that 
very well as it is. 

1st Peas. How might it be encompressed, good man, 
that our business should be concluded to a proper term- 
ination. You give yourself a little trouble, your honor, 
in some way, and we will do our part and will offer you 
presentable gratitude — will get it from the Commune, 
to undamnify and attribute you for the trouble as you're 
taking, if belikes, you'll be so good. 

3d Peas. Do, my diamond, do your best ; we can't 
4 



50 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

live if you don't. Too little land, that's how as what's 
wrong ; no place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a 
hen, for the matter of that. 

[They make low bows.] 
Feod. Ivan. I am awfully sorry for you, brothers, but 
I'm blessed if I know what to do. I gauge the whole 
thing pretty well. He refused point blank. What's to 
be done now ? And the mistress, too, is dead against 
the sale. I don't see what can be done. But let me 
have the document — I'll go and try what I can do. Ill 
ask him to consent. [Exit. 

Scene LITE. — Tanya and the three Peasants. The latter 
sigh mournfully. 

Tanya. Now tell me, my good men, what's the hitch 
in the business ? 

1st Peas. It's only the signature of the affixing of his 
hand to the document. 

Tanya. Only that the master should sign the paper ? 
Is that it ? 

1st Peas. Only that he should fix his signature and 
take the money, and there's an end to it. 

3d Peas. Only that he should say : what the peasants 
wish, I wish the same. And that's the whole business. 
He takes and writes his name, and it's over. 

Tanya. Only to write his name? Only to put his 
name to the paper ? 
[Reflects.'] 

1st Peas. That's truly what it comes to, all is con- 
taingent from that. Let him write, and there's no more 
trouble about it. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 51 

Tanya. You just wait till Feodor Ivanitch has tried 
his hand. If he fails, I have a card to play. 

2d Peas. You'll bamboozle him, belike ? 

Tanya. I'll try. 

3d Peas. Well, girl, you're going to bother and worry 
yourself for us. Mind this, now ; if you bring this thing 
through, we bind and obligate ourselves all our lives to 
get you your livelihood from the Commune. That's 
what we'll do. 

1st Peas. If you get it done truly and really, and no 
nonsense, it's harmonious to reason that we will gild 
your trouble for you. 

2d Peas. That's clear, anyhow. 

Tanya. I won't promise it for certain. As the saying 
is : "You never know what you can do " 

1st Peas. " Till you try." That's a true saying, as no 
one will deny. 

Scene LIV. — The foregoing and Feodor Ivanitch. 

Feod. Ivan. No, brothers, it's no go. He has not con- 
sented, and won't consent. Here, take your paper back. 
Go your ways. There's no chance. 

1st Peas. [Takes the paper. To Tanya.] Now we 
fasten our hopes, as it were, to you. 

Tanya. Directly, directly. Go away now and wait in 
the street outside, and I will be out in a minute or two, 
and will tell you how things are going. 
[The peasants leave.~\ 



52 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene LV. — Feodor Ivanitch and Tanya. 

Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch, my clove, announce to the 
master that I wish to see him. I have a word to say to 
him. 

Feod. Ivan. What new vagary is this ? 

Tanya. It's necessary, Feodor Ivanitch. Go and tell 
him, please, like a good man. There's nothing wrong in 
it, as God is my witness. 

Feod. Ivan. What is your business with him ? 

Tanya. It's a little secret. I'll tell it to you afterward ; 
go and tell him now. 

Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.'] I can't for the life of me make 
out what plan you count on carrying out. All right, 
I'll go and tell him. [Exit 

Scene LVI. — Tanya alone. 

Tanya. Yes, I will do it. Why, I myself heard him 
say that Simon had spiritualistic power, and I know all 
about how it is done. Nobody found out then. And 
now I'll put Simon up to it. If nothing comes of it, no- 
body will be very much the worse. It's not as if it 
w T ere a sin. 

Scene LVD". — Tanya, Leonidas Feodorovitch, and follow- 
ing them, Feodor Ivanitch. 

Leon. Feod. [Smiling.'] There's the petitioner. 
What is your business ? 

Tanya. A little secret, sir. Would you let me tell it 
to you alone ? 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 53 

Leon. Feod. What is it ? Feodor, go out for a mo- 
ment. 

Scene LVIII. — Leonid as Feodoroyitch and Tanya. 

Tanya. I've lived and been brought up in your house, 
sir, and as I'm very grateful for everything, I'll speak 
out as I would to my own dear father, if I had one. 
Simon is living in your house, and he wants to marry 
me. 

Leon. Feod. Really ? 

Tanya. I am speaking to you straightforward as to 
God himself. I have no one, sir, to counsel or advise 
me. I am an orphan, sir. 

Leon. Feod. Well, it's all ri^ht, my girl. He seems a 
good sort of fellow. 

Tanya. That's the pure truth you're saying, sir. I 
wanted to ask you, sir. There's one thing as I've no- 
ticed about him, and I can't make it out — whether it's 
not something very bad. 

Leon. Feod. He drinks, does he ? 

Tanya. No, sir; God be praised, he does not. But 
it happens that I know there is spiritualism in him, 
like 

Leon. Feod. You know that, you say ? 

Tanya. Oh, dear, yes, sir ! I understand it very well. 
Others as are in ignorance, like, they don't see it, 
but 

Leon. Feod. Well, and what of that ? 

Tanya. I am doubtful about Simon, sir. It happens 
to him sometimes, does this 

Leon, Feod. What happens ? 



54 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Tanya. Like spiritualism. Ask the servants, and 
they'll tell you, sir. If he only falls asleep at table, the 
table begins to quake and quiver and crack like this : 
tuk, tuk, tuk ! All the servants he*ard it. 

Leon. Feod. Precisely what I asserted this morning to 
Sergius Ivanitch. Well ? 

Tanya. Yes, sir, and — when was it ? Yes, on Wednes- 
day. We sat down to dinner : and the moment we were 
seated, the spoon with a hop came straight into his hand. 

Leon. Feod. Ah, this is interesting ! Hopped into 
his hand ? Was he dozing ? 

Tanya. I did not notice, sir. I think he was, though. 

Leon. Feod. Well ? 

Tanya. Well, I am in doubt about this, sir, w r hether it 
may not all lead to something bad. You see, I shall 
have to live all my life with him, and to have anything 
wrong 

Leon. Feod. [Smiling.'] Oh, not at all, my girl. 
There's nothing wrong in that. It means simply that 
he is a medium, only a medium. I knew before that he 
was a medium. 

Tanya. Oh, really ! And I was terribly afraid ! 

Leon. Feod. Don't be alarmed, my girl. It's all 
right. [To himself.] This is fortunate. Kaptshish 
won't be here this evening, so we can test his powers. 
No, don't trouble, my dear girl, he'll make a good hus- 
band, and things will be very pleasant. This is a special 
power ; everyone has it. Only in some it is very feeble, 
in others it is much stronger. 

Tanya. lam very thankful to you, sir. Now I shall 
not be afraid. I know now. That's what comes from 
pur benightedness ! 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 55 

Leon. Feod. No, don't fear anything. It's all right* 
Feodor ! 

Scene LIX. — The foregoing and Feodor Ivanitch. 

Leon. Feod. I am going out. Prepare everything for 
the seance this evening. 

Feod. Ivan. But Kaptshish said he would not be able 
to come, sir. 

Leon. Feod. That does not signify. [Putting his over- 
coat on.] We shall have a test seance with our own 
medium. 

[Exit. Feodor Ivanitch accompanies him.'] 

Scene LX. — Tanya alone. 

Tanya. He believed me, he believed me ! [Screams 
and dances for joy.] Now I'll carry it through, if Simon 
only is not too timid. 

Scene LXI. — Tanya and Feodor Ivanitch, who has re- 

turned. 

Feod. Ivan. Well, have you told him your secret ? 

Tanya. I have ; and I'll tell it to you too, only after- 
ward — I have a favor to ask of you, Feodor Ivanitch. 

Feod. Ivan. Of me ? Let's hear what it is. 

Tanya. [Bashfully.] You have been a second father 
to me. I will open my heart to you as I would to God 
himself. 

Feod. Ivan. Don't go beating about the bush. Go 
straight to the point. What is it ? 



56 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Tanya. What is it? Well, it is — it is— you know, 
Simon is going to marry me. 

Feod. Ivan. All ! now I remember that I often noticed 
that 

Tanya. Why should I hide it ? I am a poor orphan. 
You know yourself how things are done in a city, how 
everyone pesters a girl like myself. There's Gregory, 
now, I never get a moment's peace or quiet from him. 

And you know that other man ? They think I have 

no soul, that I was made only for their pleasure and 
for nothing else. 

Feod. Ivan. You are a wise and well-conducted girl. 
What next ? 

Tanya. Simon wrote home to his father, and he, his 
father, I mean, saw me to-day and said it was one of his 
pranks — of his son, and as how he was spoiled. Feodor 
Ivanitch ! [Curtseys to him.~\ be a father to me, talk 
with the old man, with Simon's father. I could take 
them to the kitchen, and you might drop in and have a 
chat with the old man. 

Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.] I am to be a sort of go-be- 
tween, as it were ? All right, I won't gainsay it. 

Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch, my dove ! be a father to me, 
and for the rest of my life I will never cease to pray to 
God for yon. 

Feod. Ivan. All right, all right. I'll do it. I promise 
to arrange it. 

[Takes up the newspaper.] 

Tanya. You are a second father to me. 

Feod. Ivan, All right, that'll do. 

Tanya. Then I'll be in hopes — thaW [Exit. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 57 



Scene LXII. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. 

Feod. Ivan. [Shaking his head.] An affectionate girl, 
and a good one. And when you come to think of it, 
how many of such as she is are lost, ruined ! Make but 
one false step, you slip and sink up to your armpits — 
and then no one will even as much as discover you 
in the slough. She's as good a girl as dear Nutty — she 
too, was a dear girl — her mother brought her into the 
world, fondled her, brought her up — [Taking tip his 
newspaper.] Well, how is our Ferdinand going to get 
himself out of the mess, I wonder 



Curtain. 



ACT n. 

The interior of the servants' kitchen. The Peasants, with 
their coats off, covered with perspiration, are seen sit- 
ting at table drinking tea. Feodor Ivanitch is smok- 
ing a cigar at the other end of the stage. The old 
Cook is on the stove ; he is not visible during the first 
four scenes. 

Scene I — The three Peasants and Feodor Ivanitch. 

Feod. Ivan. My advice to you is : Don't hinder him. 
If he wishes it and she wishes it, God be with them. 
She is a good, honest girl. If she is a little dressy, 
don't let that disturb you. That's the city fashion ; she 
wouldn't get on without it. But she is an intelligent 
girl, I can tell you. 

2d Peas. If he does wish it so very much, why, I sup- 
pose it must be. It's he as has got to live with her, not 
me. But there's no getting over it — she is a heap too 
clean and tidy-like. How could you get her into a hut 
like ours ? She would not let her mother-in-law lay a 
finger on her. 

Feod. Ivan. That, brother, comes not from tidiness, 
but from character. If she's of a quiet, good disposi- 
tion, she'll be obedient and respectful. 

2d Peas. If the fellow's so entangled that he can't do 
without her, I won't stand in his way. It would be a 
good deal worse to cross her first and have to live with 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 59 

her afterward. I'll take counsel with my old woman, 
and God'll look after the rest. 

Feod. Ivan. Your hand here, old boy. 

2d Peas. Yes, I see it's come to that. 

1st Peas. It's a lucky star as you was born under, 
Zacharias. You came here to consurmate the signing 
of a purchase of land, and here's a queen going to marry 
your son. You've got to sprinkle the business now, so 
as it'll look in behoving order. 

Feod. Ivan. That's not at all necessary. 
[An embarrassing silence.] 

Feod. Ivan. I know your peasant life as well as any 
man among you. I can tell you I have been often think- 
ing myself of buying a piece of ground somewhere, 
building a house, and living as a peasant. In your dis- 
trict, for all I care. 

2d Peas. A very good thing. 

1st Peas. Undoubtedly, with money you can percure 
in the country every prosperity and pleasure. 

3d Peas. That's known. Life in the country is more 
of a freer kind, like, than in the city. Who is there as 
doesn't know that ? 

Feod. Ivan. Well, and would you accept me as a 
member of your Commune, if I were to go to your 
place to settle down? 

2d Peas. Why shouldn't we ? Treat the old man to 
spirits, and they'll take you in the twinkling of an eye. 

1st Peas. And if you open a public house or a beer 
shop your life will be so happy — you'll never want to 
die. You'll be a king, and there's an end of it. 

Feod. Ivan. We'll see about that. But I do feel a 
hankering after rest and quiet in my old days. My life 



60 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

here is pleasant enough, and I'll be very sorry to give it 
up ; the master is a good soul, there are few like him 
anywhere. 

1st Peas. Undubiously true. But how about our 
business ? Is it all up ? 

Feod. Ivan. He would be only too glad. 

2d Peas. Ah, he's afraid of the wife, that's clear. 

Feod. Ivan. Not afraid, but she won't consent either. 

3d Peas. You might put your shoulder to the wheel 
and set it going for us, father ; if not, how are we to 
live? The land is scanty 

Feod. Ivan. Let's see what'U come of Tanya's at- 
tempt. She said she'd pull it through. 

3d Peas, [prinking his tea.] Have mercy on us, 
father ; the land is scanty, there's no place to turn a 
cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of 
that. 

Feod. Ivan. Oh, if the decision lay with me. [To the 
2d Peasant.] So, brother, we are match-makers and 
kinsfolk, you and myself. Tanya's business is settled. 

2d Peas. When I said yes, I won't go back of it, un- 
less I have a drop in me. Oh, if we only brought that 
business to an end ! 

Scene II. — The foregoing. The female Cook appears, 
glances at the stove, makes signs to it, thereupon be- 
gins to converse in a lively manner with Feodor Ivan- 
itch. 

Cook. Simon has been called up from the clean kitch- 
en * upstairs ; the master and the other one, that calls 

* In aristocratic houses in Russia there are two kitchens : the 
one for the servants, where they cook their food and eat it ; the 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 61 

up spirits with him — the bald-headed one, you know— 
and they ordered him to carry on them doings in place 
of Kaptshish. 

Feod. Ivan. What are you telling such lies for? 

Cook. I'm not telling lies. James has just been and 
told Tanya. 

Feod. Ivan. A rum thing, this is ! 

Scene III. — The foregoing and the Coachman. 

Feod. Ivan. What are you up to ? 

Coachman. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] You may tell them 
I was not engaged to live with a pack of dogs. Others 
may, if it suits them, but I'm not going to live with 
dogs. 

Feod. Ivan. With what dogs ? 

Coachman. They brought home three dogs from Basil 
Leoniditch, and put them in the coach-house. The} r 've 
made a horrible mess there, and are barking and howl- 
ing, and, if you come near them, snarl and bite. The 
wicked devils ! If you're not minding what you're about, 
they'll crunch you to dough, they will. I'm going to 
break their legs with a log of wood, I am. 

Feod. Ivan. When was all this? 

Coachman. To-day they brought them from the dcg 
show. They are of an expensive sort, the devil only 
knows what the race is called. Either the dogs or the 
coachmen are to live in the coach-house. That's what 
it's to be. Just you tell them that. 

Feod. Ivan. Yes, that's not as it ought to be. I'll go 

other for the master's family. The former is called the servants' 
or the black kitchen, the latter, the ichite kitchen. 



62 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

and ask about it. Had they not better be taken down 
here to Lukeria ? 

Coachman. [Angrily.'] Christians are having their 
dinner here, and you want to shut up a pack of dogs 
with them. As it is, it's — I've got the driving suits, the 
fur covers for the sledges, the harness, and the rest of 
it. And they insist on cleanliness. Put them in the 
out-house, if you like. 

Feod. Ivan. I must see Basil Leoniditch about it. 

Coachman.^ I wish he'd hang the bitches round his 
neck and show himself about with them. But no ; he 
knows which side of the bread is buttered, don't you 
fear. It's on horseback that he moves about. He 
spoiled Krassavtchik for no reason as I knows of. And 
wasn't she a mare — ah, it is a weary life ! 

[Exit, banging the door behind him.] 

Scene IV. — The foregoing, without the Coachman. 

Feod. Ivan. This is against all order. [To the Peas- 
ants.] Well, good-by for the present, boys ! 
Peasants. God be with you ! 

[Feodor Ivanitch goes out.] 

Scene V. — The foregoing, without Feodor Ivanitch. The 
moment Feodor Ivanitch leaves the room, a creaking 
noise is heard on the stove. 

2d Peas. It's sleek he is, and no mistake. A com- 
mandant general, you might say. 

Cook. And small wonder ! A room to himself, noth- 
ing to pay for his washing, tea and sugar from the mis- 
tress, and victuals from their table. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 63 

Old Man Cook. The devil himself would be comforta- 
ble in that snug corner. 

2d Peas. Who might that be on the stove there ? 

Female Cook. Oh, it's a man. 
[Silence.'] 

1st Peas. Yes, and I saw how you all had supper here 
a while ago. It's line times as you have here too, I'll 
make bold to say. 

Female Cook. We've no grounds to be grumbling. In 
them things the mistress is not mean. White bread on 
Sundays, fish on holidays in Lent, and meat for who 
likes. 

2d Peas. And would there be anyone as 'u'd break 
the fast and eat meat ? 

Female Cook. The whole lot of them, you may say. 
The only ones as keep the fast here is myself and the 
coachman — (not that one ; the old one), and Simon and 
the housekeeper. All the others stuff themselves with 
meat. 

2d Peas. And himself ? 

Fem. Cook. That's a good 'un, it is ! Why, he's long 
ago forgot what it means to fast. 

3d Peas. O Lord ! 

1st Peas. It's the affair of the quality. They got to 
that through reading books. For they have every kind 
of knowledge. 

3d Peas. A maslin loaf every day, I'll warrant ? 

Fem. Cook. A maslin loaf ! what a joke ! Them folks 
never sees a maslin loaf in all their born days, at their 
own tables, leastways. You should see the food spread 
out on their tables, and then I'd like you to mention 
what they haven't. That's how it is. 



64 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

1st Peas. The food of the quality, as is known, is airy 
as it were. 

Fem. Cook. Airy or not airy, they seldom want an ap- 
petite to gorge themselves. 

1st Peas. They are in appetite, then ? 

Fem. Cook. And no thanks to them, as they are 
always swilling and drinking. With every dish they've 
got a drink of wine or of spirits, or of fizzing liquor. 
They eat and then drink to wash it down, a mouthful of 
solid food and a drink to go along with it. 

1st Peas. In harmonious proportion it carries down 
the food, you may say. 

Fem. Cook. Yes ; ain't they good hands at stuffing 
themselves ! You've no idea. It's not their way to sit 
down, eat, cross themselves, and get up from the table — 
they eat and eat and never rest themselves. 

2d Peas. Like hogs, that won't be happy till they 
have their feet in the trough. 

[The Peasants laugh.] 

Fem. Cook. The moment, God be praised, they rub 
their eyes in the morning, it begins. Give them the sam- 
ovar, their tea, coffee, chocolate. When they've emptied 
one samovar, you've to go and get them a second and a 
third. By the time this is empty lunch is waiting for 
them, then comes dinner, and after that coffee again. Be- 
fore they've well finished that, tea has to be served again. 
And then their snacks and side dishes. And what with 
their sweetmeats and things, there's no end to the eating 
and drinking that goes on from morning till night. 
Sprawling on their backs in bed, even then they must eat. 

3d Peas. That's what I calls doing it squarely and 
no shirking. [Laughs.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 65 

1st and 2d Peas. What are you driving at ? 

3d Peas. I wish I'd one whole day's life to live like 
them. 

2d Peas. And when do they do their business ? 

Fem. Cook. What business has the likes o' them to 
do ? Card-playing and piano-playing is all the business 
as I knows of. The young lady, I know, when she'd 
rubbed her eyes in the morning, would get up and 
tackle the piano and go ahead. And the one as lives 
here, the teacher, as it might be, stands and waits to 
see whether any of them forty-pianos is free, and when 
one of 'em is vacant, as you might say, up she goes and 
gives it a good thumping, I know. Sometimes a pair 
of forty-pianos would be put together, and the two of 
'em play four-in-hand and bang away. And the din is 
something awful — when I tell you you can hear it here. 

3d Peas. O Lord ! 

Fem. Cook. And that's all the business as they've got ; 
forty-pianos and cards. When a batch of them gets 
together it's cards and smoking, that goes on through 
the whole blessed night. And the moment they get up, 
they're at it again, eating and drinking, drinking and 
eating ! 

Scene VI. — The foregoing and Simon. 

Simon. Good appetite ! 

1st Peas. Thanks for the same. You're very wel- 
come, sit down. 

Simon. [Drawing near to the table."] Thank you 
kindly. 

[The 1st Peasant pours him out some tea.'] 
2d Peas. Where have you been ? 
5 



6Q THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Simon. Upstairs. 

2d Peas. What's going on there now? 

Simon. I can't make head or tail of it. I'm puzzled 
how to tell you. 

2d Peas. What are they up to? 

Simon. I don't know how to say it ; some force they 
were hunting for in rne, like. I can't make it out for 
the soul of me. Tanya says, says she: "Go on, don't 
be afraid, we'll get the land for the peasants," says she ; 
"he'll sell it." 

2d Peas. How is she going to pull that through ? 

Simon. That's what puzzles my head to make out. 
She won't tell me nothing more. " Only mind to do," 
says she, " what I order." 

2d Peas. And what things is it she orders ? 

Simon. Nothing now. They made me sit down, then 
nothing would do for them but the lights must be put 
out ; and I'm blowed if they didn't coax me to go to 
sleep. Me to go to sleep ! And Tanya stowed herself 
away there convenient, they didn't notice as she was 
there, but I saw her. 

2d Peas. What's it all for ? 

Simon. God only knows — I'm blowed if I can see 
through it. 

1st Peas. Comprehensibly for the procrastination of 
time as lies heavy on their hands. 

2d Peas. One thing I see ; neither your skull nor my 
own is made to hold the signification of what them 
things mean. But tell me this : did you make much 
money by it ? 

Simon. I didn't take anything but what they gave me. 
I earned twenty-eight roubles, if a copeck. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 67 

2d Peas. That's business. If God grants we get the 
land, I'll take you home, Simon, my lad. 

Simon. And it's right glad I'll be, father, if you do. 

2d Peas. You're spoiled here in the city, I suppose. 
You haven't a mind to plough, have you ? 

Simon. To plough, is it ? Try me now, I'm your 
man. To plough or to mow, all them is things as a 
fellow doesn't soon forget. 

1st Peas. But after you've lived in the capital metro- 
polis, you've no much taste to leave it, eh ? 

Simon. Why not ? I can live just as well in the 
country. 

1st Peas. Here's uncle Dmitry as 'ud be right glad to 
change places with you and get a taste of your cultur- 
vated city life. 

Simon. He'd very soon get tired of it, would uncle 
Dmitry. It looks enticing like, when you don't know 
it, but you've got no end of running about, your head 
gets dizzy, and you're soon done up. 

Fem. Cook. Ah, uncle * Dmitry, you should see what 
their balls are like. It's you as 'ud be astonished at the 
sight ! 

3d Peas. And why, now ? They eat all sorts ? 

Fem. Cook. Nonsense ; you should only see them. 
Feodor Ivanitch got me in ; I cast my eyes at the ball — 
no end of ladies, quality ladies, dressed and done up in 
tip-top style. You haven't any idea, man 1 How could 
you? Down to this they are stark naked, and so are 
their arms. Not a rag to cover them. 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 

* Among Russian peasants Uncle is a common term of address 
to unknown persons. 



68 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

2d Peas. More shame for them's what I say. 

Fem. Cook. I stared and I stared, uncle, and didn't 
, know what to think. Flesh everywhere. You may 
think I'm lying, but I'm telling the plain truth ; the old 
uns, our mistress — and you know she has grandchil- 
dren — stripped themselves naked for the ball like the 
rest. 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 

Fem. Cook. That's not all : when the music struck up 
and things got lively-like, every mother's son of them 
men there, went up each one to his own, gave her a 
squeeze, and went whirling around like a merry-go- 
round ! 

2d Peas. And the old uns ? 

Simon. No, the old uns keep sitting. 

Fem. Cook. What are you talking about. Didn't I 
see them with my own eyes, I tell you ? 

Simon. Bosh. 

Old Man Cook. [Thrusting his body forward and speak- 
ing very hoarsely.] That's the polka-mazourka. You're 
a fool, woman, not to know — the way it's danced is 

Fem. Cook. Shut up, dancer, will you ? St ! there's 
somebody coming. 

Scene VII. — Hie foregoing and Gregory. The Old Man 
Cook hurriedly hides himself as before. 

Greg. [To the Female Cook.] Let me have some sour 
cabbage ! 

Fem. Cook. There, now, I've just come from the cellar 
and must go back again. Who's it for ? 

Greg. For the young ladies. Look sharp, will you ? 
Send it up with Simon, I have no time to wait. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 69 

Fem. Cook. That's just like 'em ; they fills themselves 
with sweet things till they can hold no more, and then 
they're a-yearning for sour cabbage. 

1st Peas. To keep the bowels open, belike. 

Fem. Cook. Much good it does them, too ! When 
there is a vacancy open, they fills it up again as hard as 
they can. 

[Takes a cup and goes out.] 

Scene VIII. — The foregoing, without the Female Cook. 

Greg. [To the Peasants.] So you've settled down com- 
fortably in the kitchen? Mind, take care of what you 
are about. If the mistress gets to know that you are 
here, she will give you as good a drubbing as you got 
this morning. 

[Laughs and goes out] 

Scene IX. — The three Peasants. Simon and the Old Man 
Cook ivho is still on the oven. 

1st Peas. She did get up a storm this morning, and 
no mistake ! Wasn't she wild ! 

2d Peas. This morning he wanted to mend matters, 
soften her down a bit, but when he opened the door and 
saw how she was tearing the roof off the cabin, he 
banged the door and left her to herself. 

3d Peas. [Waving his hand.] It's the same story all 
round. My old woman goes and fires up at times, and 
doesn't she cut up rough — it's a sight to see. I clear 
out of the cabin in no time, I can tell ye. Confound 
her, if I didn't look out she'd split my head with a hunt- 
ing-pole, and think nothing of it, either. Oh, Lord! 



70 THE FRUIT 8 OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene X. — The foregoing, and James. Rushes in with the 
Doctor's prescription. 

James. I say, Simon, run to the apothecary's, look 
alive, man, and get these here powders for the mis- 
tress. 

Simon. Himself told me as I wasn't to leave the prem- 
ises. 

James. You'll be back in time. Your turn won't come 
till after tea. . . . Good appetite ! 

1st Peas. Thank you kindly, you're very welcome. 

[Exit Simon. 

Scene XI. — The foregoing without Simon. 

James. I'm in a' awful hurry ; but pour out a drop of 
tea and I'll drink it all the same to keep you company. 
Here goes. 

1st Peas. Here we're a-discursing and abating as how 
your mistress was in high tantrums this morning. 

James. Oh, she's a fiery 'un, I can tell you. It's aw- 
ful, if you knew. She doesn't know a bit what she's 
saying or doing on them occasions. 

1st Peas. But what was it about as I wanted to inter- 
rogate ye on ? What was them remarks alluding to as 
she observed about big crows. Big crows, says she, 
you've perfected the whole place with big crows. Now, 
what might them big crows infer to ? 

James. Oh, these macarobes, is it ? Them are wee 
little things like midges, as they say brings every sick- 
ness and disease with 'em. And she said as how ye 
were chock full of 'em. After you left, the place as 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 71 

you were standing on was scrubbed and scrubbed and 
sprinkled and splashed at an awful rate. There is such 
a disaffecting wash as they call it, that slaughters them 
all — the midges, I mean. 

2d Peas. And where might these same midges be on 
us? 

James. [Drinking his tea.] They say they're such wee 
things as you can't see even through a burning-glass. 

2d Peas. And how does she know they're on me ? 
Perhaps she's more of them filthy things on herself than 
is on me. 

James. Right you are. How can we tell ? 

2d Peas. It's my belief as it's all fudge. 

James. It stands to reason it is. The doctors must 
invent them things, or if they didn't, who'd fill their 
pockets for them ? Our doctor comes every blessed day. 
He drives up, spouts a bit, and pockets his cool ten 
roubles. 

2d Peas! You lie ! . . . 

James. And there's another o' them fellows as gets a 
hundred roubles every time he comes. 

1st Peas. You don't mean it. A hun — dred ? 

James. A hundred ? You say hun— dred, but faith he 
takes a whole thousand if he goes beyond the city. 
Aye, and if ye don't fork it out you may kick the buck- 
et, and he won't lift a finger to help you. 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 

2d Peas. How's that ? Does he know some charm 
wood ? 

James. I s'pose he must. I used to live in a general's 
house outside Moscow. A passionate fellow he was, 
awful to look at — the general, I mean. One fine day his 



72 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

daughter fell sick. They sent for this chap in a hurry. 
" Give me a thousand roubles and I'll go," says he. . . . 
They agreed, and he came. Somehow — I don't know 
exactly how, but they displeased him. Good heavens ! 
how he did let loose on the general ! " That's the way, 
is it, you show me respect," says he ; " I'm blowed if I'll 
cure your daughter." And what d'ye think happened ? 
Why, that general forgot his pride, shrivelled up, and 
was as quiet as a mouse in a twinkling, he was. " For 
God's sake, don't throw me up," he begged. 

1st Peas. And he paid him a thousand ? 

James. That he did, and no mistake. 

2d Peas. Such a mint of money ? Only think of all 
the things a peasant could do for that money ! 

3d Peas. It's my opinion as it's all stuff and nonsense. 
Not long ago I had a sore leg ; a raw place, you know. 
Well, I was prescribed for and proscribed for till I was 
sick of it. It cost me full five roubles, it did. At last I 
flung it up and left the sore to itself, and I'm blowed if 
it didn't come all right without doctor or physic. 

[The Old Man Cook on the stove coughs.] 

James. Are you there again, my hearty? 

1st Peas. What kind of individual might that be 
there ? 

James. He was master's cook at one time ; he comes 
to see Lukeria now and then. 

1st Peas. He's a master cook, as you might say, then. 
And does he live here ? 

James. N-n-o — they won't have him here. He spends 
the day in one place, the night in another. When he's 
got three copecks * he sleeps in a public lodging-house, 
* About a penny. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 73 

and when he has drunk away every coin he had, he 
comes here. 

2d Peas. How is that ? 

James. He's weak, poor fellow, very weak. What a 
grand fellow he used to be ! a kind of fine gentleman 
like, with a gold watch in bis fob, and receiving his 
forty roubles a month — not a copeck less. And look at 
him now ! He'd 'ave died of hunger long ago, if it 
wasn't for Lukeria as keeps the life in him. 

Scene XII. — The foregoing and tlie Female Cook, bring- 
ing in the sour cabbage, 

James. [To Lukeria.] I see you have got Paul here 
again ? 

Fem. Cook. Well, and where else would ye have 'im 
go ? Would you like 'im to be frozen to death in the 
streets ? Eh ? 

3d Peas. See what drink does ! Drink, we may say — 
[Smacks his tongue against his teeth, to mark 
his sympathy with the Man Cook.] 

2d Peas. Sure enough, if a man grows firm, he's 
firmer than a stone ; if he gets weak, he's weaker than 
water. 

Old Man Cjok. [Getting down from the stove, his 
hands and feet trembling.'] Lukeria ! do let me have a 
little glass ! 

Fem. Cook. Where are you crawling to now? I'll 
give ye such a little glass, if ye don't take care that 

Man Cook. Ain't ye afraid of God, Lukeria ? I'm 
dying, that's what's the matter with me. Brothers, can 
ye give me five copecks ? — 



74 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Fem. Cook. Go back to the stove, I tell you. 

Man Cook. Cook ! a half-glass only. For Christ's 
sake. Do ye understand, it's in Christ's name I'm beg- 
ging it ! 

Fem. Cook. Go back, I tell you. Here's tea for you. 

Man Cook. Tea ! What's tea to me ? A weak, watery 
drink. Just a little spirits, will ye, only a drop — Lu- 
keria ! 

3d Peas. Ah, the poor fellow, he's trembling awfully ! 

2d Peas. You might let him have it perhaps ? 

Fem. Cook. [Goes to the cupboard, gels the bottle, and 
pours out a small glass of vodka.] Here, take this, and 
mind you'll not get a drop more from me. 

Man Cook. [Snatching it greedily from her, swallows it 
off, trembling all the time.] Cook ! I'll drink it up and 
you think of what I'm going to say 

Fem. Cook. None of your gab now, but go back to 
your place on the stove, and don't let your voice be 
heard. 

[The Old Man returns to his place, but con- 
tinues to mutter something to himself] 

2d Peas. That's what it comes to when a man is 
weak ! 

1st Peas. Undoubtingly — human feebleness. 

3d Peas. Ah ! yes, indeed. 

[The Old Man Cook lies down and continues 
to mutter. Silence.] 

2d Peas. What was I going to ask you about ? That 
girl as lives in the house from our parts, Axinia's daugh- 
ter, I mean. What sort of a one might she be ? Does 
she live properly and honestly ? 

James. She's a good girl. Nothing but praise for her. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 75 

Fem. Cook. I'll tell you what it is, uncle, I know what 
it is to live in a city as a servant-maid, and I tell you 
this : If you're going to take Tanya for your son's wife, 
you'd better take her at once before she's spoiled, as 
she's sure to be very soon. 

James. That's the plain truth. Last summer there 
was a girl — Nathalia — as lived here, as good a girl as 
you could wish to see anywhere. And she went wrong 
and was ruined as much as that poor fellow there. 
[Points to the Man Cook.] 

Fem. Cook. Girls of our condition fall every day, as 
thick as leaves when the storm's blowing. Who doesn't 
like light work and dainty food? And it's the dainty 
food as takes ye out o' your road and lands you in the 
mud before ye knows where ye are. And when you're 
once in the mud, it's all up with you ; you're not want- 
ed no more after that ; ye can go your ways, a fresh 
one's got to take your place. That's what happened to 
Nathalia, poor girl. She slipped, lost her footing like, 
and was driven out of the house. She was brought to 
bed of a child, fell sick, and died in the hospital last 
spring. And what a fine girl she was ! 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! A weak lot o' people. They're 
to be pitied, they are. 

Old Man Cook. It's a precious lot o' pity you'll get 
from the likes o' them. [Lets his feet hang down from 
the stove.] Here am I that roasted myself for thirty 
years before the kitchen fire for them, and when I 
wasn't wanted any more I was turned out to die like a 
dog in the streets. Pity indeed ! You've come to the 
right shop to look for pity, you have ! 

1st Peas. That's voracious ; it's always the way. 



76 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

2d Peas. As long as you're useful they pat you on the 
back, but when they've got all the good out of ye they 
fling you into the street like a sucked lemon. 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 

Old Man Cook. What do you know ? Can you tell 
me what means saute a la Bamon ? or what Bavasary is ? 
Ah, if you knew the things that I could do ! Think o' 
this : the Tsar himself eat my dishes ! And now I'm 
not worth a straw to the very devils. But I won't give 
in, I won't ! 

Fem. Cook. You've let your tongue loose again, have 
you ? I'll teach you manners — Creep back to your 
corner this very minute, I tell you, or the master will 
be in, or someone else, and 111 be packed out of the 
house along with you, bag and baggage. 
[Silence.] 

James. So you know my country — do you — Voznes- 
sen sky? 

2d Peas. Bight well I know it. It's only fifteen miles 
from us, and not even that much if ye cross the ford. 
Have you land there ? 

James. My brother has. I send him money home. 
Though I'm living here I'm dying to get home. 

1st Peas. Undoubtingly. 

2d Peas. Is Anisim, then, your brother ? 

James. Of course he is. He lives at the other end of 
the village. 

2d Peas. Of course I know him. His is the third 
house. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 77 

Scene XIIL — The foregoing and Tanya, who comes run- 
ning in. 

Tanya. James Ivanitch ! What are ye airing yourself 
here for ? You're called upstairs. 

James. Directly. What's going on ? 

Tanya. Fiffka's barking — she's hungry ; and herself is 
calling you names and abusing you: "What a wretch 
he is," she says. "He has no pity. The poor thing 
should have had its dinner long ago, and he hasn't 
troubled himself to bring it ! " 
[Laughs.] 

James. [Prejjaring to go.] Oh, is she angry ? I hope 
nothing serious will come of this ! 

Fem. Cook. Take the cabbage with you. 

James. Give it here, make haste ! 

[Takes the cabbage and goes.] 

Scene XIV. — The foregoing, without James. 

1st Peas. Who is it is going to have her dinner at this 
hour? 

Tanya. Who but the dog ? It's her own dog. [Sits down 
and takes up the teapot.] Is there any tea in the pot? 
I've brought some with me. 

[Puts fresh tea in the teapot.] 

2d Peas. The dog going to have dinner ! 

Tanya. Why, of course it is. It has a cutlet made all 
for itself — a cutlet that must not be fat. I have got the 
washing to do — the dog's washing, I mean. 

3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 

Tanya. It's like the gentleman as buried his dog. 



78 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

2d Peas. How was that ? 

Tanya. His dog died — the gentleman's, and he drove 
to the country in the depth of winter to tjury it. The 
burial was over, and he was coming home in his sledge, 
crying and sorrowing, the gentleman was. The frost 
was biting that day and the drops were falling from the 

coachman's nose Let me pour it out for you. [She 

pours out the tea.] The drops were trickling from his 
nose, and he was drying them as well as he could with 
his handkerchief. At last the master saw him and, 
" What," says he, " are you crying like that for ? " " Ah, 
sir," says the coachman, u how can I help it, what a fine 

dog he was " 

\ Laughs boisterously] 

2d Peas. And all the time, I bet he was saying to 
himself : If it was your own precious self as gave up the 
ghost, I'm bio wed if it 'ud bring a single tear to either 
of my eyes ! 

[Laughs.] 

Old Man Cook. [From the stove.] Eight you are. 
Gospel truth ! 

Tanya. Well, the gentleman got home, and he goes up 
to the mistress and says he : " What a good fellow that 
coachman of ours is — he was crying all the way home, 
he was that sorry for my poor dog 'Friend.' Send for 
him." W 7 hen he came : " Here," says his master, " swal- 
low this vodka, and take this rouble to reward you." 
That's for all the world like herself. She's angry now 
with James for not taking pity on her dog. 
[The Peasants laugh heartily.] 

1st Peas. The dog must be treated with all that cere- 
mony? 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 79 

2d Peas. That is good ! 

3d Peas. Ah, girl, you have made me split my sides ! 

Tanya. [Pouring out more tea.'] Drink a little more ! 
That's right. It looks nice and pleasant to live here, 
but there's times as it's sickening to have to tidy up all 
the filth after them. Fie ! It's far better in the coun- 
try. 

[The Peasants turn up their caps.] 

Tanya. [Pouring out the tea.] Much good may it do 
you, Ephimius Antonitch, have a little more ! I'll pour 
you out another cup, Dmitry Vlassievitch ! 

3d Peas. Well, be it so. 

1st Peas. And how, my bright girl, might our affairs 
be getting on? 

Tanya. Pretty well. 

1st Peas. Simon was saying as 

Tanya. [Briskly.] Yes, he was saying ? 

2d Peas. It's hard to make head or tail of what he 
says. 

Tanya. I can't tell you anything about it yet, only I'll 
do my best ; that I promise. You see, here I've got our 
document. [Shows a paper under her apron.] If only 
our trick comes out all right — [Shrieks.] Oh, wouldn't 
it be splendid ? 

2d Peas. You take care and don't lose that paper. It 
cost money, too. 

Tanya. Don't be uneasy. All that's wanted is for him 
to sign this paper ? Is that all ? 

3d Peas. And what more could we ask for ? If he 
signs that, we've got what we want. [Turns up his 
cup.] I've enough. 



80 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Tanya. [To herself.] He'll sign it ; you'll see lie will. 
Take a little more. 

[Pours out more tea.] 

1st Peas. Do your endeavors and negotiate the eon- 
summation of the signing of the sale of the land, and 
we can marry you by means of the Commune. 
[Declines the offer of more tea.] 

Tanya. [Pours out tea and hands it.] Drink it. 

3d Peas. Only pull the thing through and we'll get 
you married, and I'll come to dance at the wedding my- 
self, I will. Though I never danced a step in all my 
born days, I'll do it then. 

Tanya. [Laughing.] I'll be hopeful you will. 
[Silence.] 

2d Peas. [Surceying Tanya.] That's all well and 
good, but you're not fit for the hard work as a peasant's 
wife's got to do. 

Tanya. Is it me ? What d'ye suppose then ? That 
I've no strength ? You should see how I lace up the 
mistress, and you'd open your eyes, I tell you. There's 
lots o' peasants as couldn't do it. 

2d Peas. What d'ye lace her to ? 

Tanya. There's a thing like a jacket made of bones, 
like ; it only reaches to here. It's fitted up with laces, 
and you've got to pull them and pull them, and spit in 
your hands before you can get them to meet. 

2d Peas. You tighten the collar thongs, as I under- 
stand it ? 

Tanya. Yes, that's it, the collar thongs. But you 
mustn't press your knees against her, you know. 
[Laughs.] 

2d Peas. And what do you tighten her up like that for ? 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 81 

Tanya. For that. 

2d Peas. It's a vow she made, I s'pose. 

Tanya. No, it's for her beauty. 

1st Peas. Her pauDch disfigures her form, I appine. 

Tanya. I've got to tighten her and tighten her till her 
eyeballs are ready to start from her head, and then 
she says, " Go on, tighter." My hands are blazing hot 
before I get through ; and you say I've no strength ! 
[The Peasants laugh and shake their heads.] 

Tanya. Well, haven't I been prattling a lot ! 
[Buns out laughing.] 

3d Peas. The girl has given us a hearty laugh. 

1st Peas. A tidy thing she is, too. 

2d Peas. Not bad. 

Scene XV. — TJie three Peasants, Female Cook, Old Man 
Cook, on the stove. Enter Sakhatoff and Basil Le- 
oniditch. Sakhatoff has a teaspoon in his hand. 

Basil Leon. Not precisely a dinner, but a dejeuner 
dinatoire. And a fine lunch it was, too. Ham of suck- 
ing-pig — delightful ! Boulier knows how to feed his 
guests. I've only got back this moment. [Catches sight 
of the Peasants.] The peasants are still here ? 

Sakh. Yes, all that is very interesting, but don't let us 
forget that we have come here to hide an article. Where 
are we going to hide it ? 

Basil Leon. I beg your pardon, one moment. [To the 
Cook.] Where are the dogs? 

Fem. Cook. The dogs are in the coach-house, sir. 
You wouldn't want them in the rooms as is occupied by 
Christians ? 
6 



82 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Basil Leon. Ah, in the coach-house ? All right. 

Sakh. I'm waiting for you. 

Basil Leon. Beg pardon. Ah, yes, we're to hide it ? 
All right, I'll tell you what we might do, Sergius Ivano- 
vitch ; we might stow it away in the pocket of one of 
these countrymen. In this fellow's, for instance. I say, 
you fellow, where is your pocket ? 

3d Peas. What do you want my pocket for ? You 
know what you're about, you do. My pocket ! D'ye 
know I've money in my pocket ? 

Sakh. Well, where's your money-bag then ? 

1st Peas. What d'ye want it for ? 

Fem. Cook. How can you ? That's the young master 
as is speaking with you. 

Basil Leon. [Laughing.'] Do you know why he was 
so terribly frightened ? I'll tell you ; it's because he 
has a mint of money on him. Eh ? 

Sakh. Yes, I see. Well, here's what will do. You go 
on talking to them, and I shall hide it in that little 
satchel there while no one is looking, so that even these 
fellows should not know and tell him where it is. Go 
on talking with them. 

Basil Leon. Directly, directly. Well, boys, and you 
are going to buy the land ? Eh? 

1st Peas. We propose negotiations with all our hearts. 
But the progression of the business is hindered somehow. 

Basil Leon. You shouldn't be close-fisted, though. 
Land, you know, is a most important thing. I think I 
suggested mint to you. Or you might cultivate tobac- 
co, if you preferred. 

1st Peas. That's undisputably ; you can grow any 
products. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 83 

3d Peas. Intercede with your father for us, like a 
benefactor as you are. For how can we live if ye don't. 
The land is scanty, there's no place to turn a hen into, 
even a hen. 

Sakh. [Puts the spoon into the satchel thrown over 
the 3d Peasant's shoulder.] It's done ! Come along. 

[Exit. 
Basil Leon. Don't be close-fisted. Eh ? Good-by. 

[Exit. 



Scene XVI. — The three Peasants, the Female Cook, and 
the Old Man Cook on the stove. 

3d Peas. I told you we'd better be gone to some lodg- 
ings. We'd have paid ten copecks and been in peace 
there. But now may God have mercy on us. Give up 
your money, he says, fork it out. What does he mean ? 
He's tipsy, of course. 

[The Peasants rise from their places, turn up their cups, 
and make the sign of the cross.] 

1st Peas. And did ye mind how he threw out a hint 
about sowing mint. There's a way of understanding 
that, too. 

2d Peas. Yes, indeed, sow mint. Try it on ; double 
yourself up in two, and you'll soon ask for mint to keep 
you in working order. Thank you kindly for the hint. 
Where, my bright woman, are we to rest our legs here 
to-night ? 

Fem. Cook. One of you might lie down on the stove, 
and the others on the bench. 

3d Peas. Christ save your soul. [Says his prayers.] 



84 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

1st Peas. God vouchsafe to grant the consummation 
of the business. [Lies down.] To-morrow after dinner 
we'd be at the railroad terminus, and on Tuesday we'd 
be at home. 

2d Peas. You'll be blowing out the light, won't ye ? 

Fem. Cook. We couldn't think of doing that here. 
They are always running in, sometimes for one thing, 
sometimes for another. But you can lie dow T n ; I'll 
cover you up. 

2d Peas. How can a man live on a little patch of 
land ? Here have I been having to buy corn ever since 
Christmas. And my oaten straw is all gone, too. Ah, 
if I had four acres to call my own, I'd take Simon home, 
I would. 

1st Peas. You have your family to look after. You'll 
have land enough, if only this business is done as we 
want it. 

3d Peas. Better pray of the Queen of Heaven to give 
us a helping hand. She might, you know, take, pity on 
us, like. 

Scene XVII. — Everything is quiet. Snores break the still 
ness. Suddenly the noise of footsteps is heard, and 
the sound of voices. The doors are thrown wide open, 
and the following persons rush impetuously in: 
Grossmann blindfolded, holding Sakhatoff by the hand; 
the Professor and the Doctor ; the Stout Lady, Le- 
onidas Feodorovitch ; Betsy and Petrishtsheff ; 
Basil Leoniditch and Mary Konstantinovna ; the 
Mistress of the house and the Baroness ; Feodor 
Ivanitch and Tanya. The following are also present in 
the room : The three Peasants, the Female Cook, and 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 85 

the Old Man Cook [not visible). The Peasants jump 
up. Grossmann walks in rapidly and then suddenly 
stops. 

Stout Lady. Don't be uneasy, I'm watching him. I 
undertook to watch him, and am conscientiously doing 
my duty. Sergius Ivanovitch, you are not leading him, 
I hope ? 

Sergius. No, I'm not, I tell you. 

Stout Lady. Don't lead him and don't resist him. 
[To Leonid as Feodorovitch.] I know all about these 
experiments. I performed them myself. I used to feel 
an impulsion as it were 

Leon. Feod. May I ask you to keep silence ? 

Stout Lady. Oh, I know how indispensable that is ! 
I experienced it on myself. The moment my attention 
was distracted I could not for the life of me 

Leon. Feod. Sh ! sh ! sh ! 
[They move about in the vicinity of the 1st and 2d Peas- 
ants, and draw near the 3d. Grossmann stumbles 
over the stool] 

Baroness. But tell me, is he paid for this?* 

Mistress. I have not the faintest idea. 

Baroness. But is he a man ? 

Mistress. Oh, yes. 

Baroness. There's something perfectly miraculous in 
it. Isn't there, now? How is it that he manages to 
find things ? 

Mistress. I couldn't tell you. My husband can ex- 
plain it all to you. [Perceiving the Peasants, she looks 

* This lady and her companion, the mistress of the house, 
speak French here in the original. I thought it better to trans- 
late their remarks into English. 



SG THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

around and sees at last the Female Cook.] Excuse me, 
what does this mean ? [The Baroness approaches a group.] 

Mistress. [To Female Cook.] Who admitted the 
peasants ? 

Fem. Cook. James brought them in, ma'am. 

Mistress. And who ordered James to bring them in ? 

Fem. Cook. That I couldn't say, ma'am. Feodor 
Ivanitch saw them here. 

Mistress. Leonidas ! 
[Leonid as Feodorovitch does not hear ; he is absorbed in 
the search for the hidden object and is crying "Hush ! "] 

Mistress. Feodor Ivanitch ! "What is the meaning of 
this ? Did you not see how I had the whole anteroom 
disinfected this morning, and now you have infected the 
whole kitchen, the black bread, the kvass * 

Feod. Ivan. I did not suppose there was any danger 
in their being here. They came up to town on business. 
They have a long way to go. Their village 

Mistress. That's just it. Their village is in the Gov- 
ernment of Kursk, where the very flies are dying of 
diphtheria. And what's much more to the point, I gave 
orders that they were not to be admitted into the 
house. Did I give orders, yes or no ? [Approaches ci 
group of persons tuhich has formed round the Peasants.] 
Take care, take care ! Don't touch them — for they are 
all saturated with the diphtheria infection ! 

[No one listens to her. She steps aside with great dig- 
nity and stands immovably, waiting. ,] 

Petr. [Snuffles very loudly.] I do not know 

* A Russian beverage characterized by most of the drawbacks 
of beer (except its inebriating properties) and very few of its ad- 
vantages. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 87 

whether that is a diphtheria infection or not, but there 
is certainly an infection of some kind in the air. Do 
you smell it ? 

Betsy. Cease lying. Vovo, in what satchel ? 

Basil Leon. There, in that one ! He is drawing 
near to it now. 

Petr. What's that? Perfumed spirits or spirit from 
the other world ? 

Betsy. Now's the opportune moment for your cigar- 
ettes. Smoke, smoke, and as near me as you possibly 
can. 

[Petrishtsheff stoops, lights his cigarette, and 
smokes.] 

Basil Leon. He is making his way, I can tell you. 
What do you say ? 

Grossmann. [In a restless kind of way fumbles about 
the 3d Peasant.] Here, here ! I feel it's here. 

Stout Lady. Do you experience any feeling of ex- 
haustion ? 

[Grossmann stoops down and takes the spoon 
from the satchel.'] 

Basil Leon. Eh ? So that's where our spoon has been 
discovered ? [To the Peasant. J So that's your way, is it? 

3d Peas. What's my way ? I didn't take yer spoon. 
And what are you mixing me up in it for ? I didn't 
take it and I didn't, and my soul is free of it. It's a 
nice way he has of taking on, it is. Oh, I could see as 
it wasn't for any good that he came here. Give me 
your money-bag, says he. But I didn't take yer spoon, 
and Christ is my witness that I didn't. 

[The young members of the family make a 
circle round him and smile] 



88 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Leon. Feod. [Angrily, to his son ] Your eternal stu- 
pidities again ! [To the Peasant.] Don't be alarmed, 
my good friend ! We know you didn't take it ; that 
was only our experiment. 

Gkossmann. [Takes the handkerchief from his eyes and 
looks as if he had only just wakened up from sleep.] If 
you can, let me have a glass of water, please. [They all 
run up to him and fussily offer their services.'] 

Basil Leon. Let's go straight to the coach-house from 
here. Ill show you what a rare specimen of the canine 
race I've got there. Magnificent ! How does it strike 
you? 

Mary Konst. Let us go. 

[Exeunt Mary Konstantinovna, Betsy, Pe- 
trishtsheff, and Basil Leoniditch. 

Scene XVIII. — The foregoing, without Betsy, Mary Kon- 
stantinovna, Petrishtsheff, and Basil Leoniditch. 

Stout Lady. [To Grossmann.] Well, what do you 
think ? Have you rested ? (Grossmann makes no reply. 
To Sakhatoff.] Do you, Sergius Ivanitch, experience a 
feeling of exhaustion ? 

Sakh. I don't experience anything at all. It was 
splendid, splendid. A complete success. 

Baroness. Admirable. Does it cause him any un- 
pleasant sensation ? 

Leon. Feod. Not the slightest. 

Professor. [To Grossmann.] Allow me to put a ques- 
tion. [Hands him a thermometer.'] At the beginning of 
the experiment it was 37 and 2. [To the Doctor.] Isn't 
it so ? Would you have the kindness to measure the 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 89 

pulse? There must be a loss of vital power. It is in- 
evitable. 

Doctor. [To Grossmann.] Just let me feel yo ur pulse, 
mister. Well verify it, well verify it. 

[Takes out his watch and holds Grossmann s 
hand. ] 

Stout Lady. The state in which you were then is not 
identical with that to which we are accustomed to apply 
the term sleep ? 

Grossmann. [Languidly.'] It is hypnosis. 

Sakh. Then, if we understand you aright, you hypno- 
tized yourself? 

Grossmann. Why not ? Hypnosis can be induced not 
only by means of association, by the sound of the tam- 
tam, for instance, as Charcot induces it ; but likewise by 
merely coming inside the hypnogenetic zone. 

Sakh. There's no doubt about that, but it would be 
advisable all the same to define clearly what hypnosis 
is? 

Professor. Hypnosis is the phenomenon of the trans- 
formation of one kind of energy into another. 

Grossmann. That is not Charcot's definition. 

Sakh. Excuse me, please. That is your definition ; 
but Libaut himself told me 

Doctor. [Relinquishing Grossmann's hand.] That's all 
right. Now your temperature, please. 

Stout Lady. [Interfering] No, allow me, please. I 
agree with Alexis Vladimirovitch. When I lay ill in 
bed, deprived of consciousness, I experienced the abso- 
lute necessity of talking. I am generally of a very taci- 
turn disposition, but on that occasion I was impelled to 
talk, talk, and talk And they tell me that I talked so 



90 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

much and so long that everyone was astonished. [To 
Sakhatoff.] But I interrupted you, I'm afraid? 
Sakh. Not at all. Please, don't mention it. 
Doctor. Pulse 82 ; the temperature has gone up by 
three-tenths. 

Professor. There you have the proof. It's just as it 
should be. [Takes out his memorandum boob and 
writes.] 82, is that right ? And 37 and 5. The mo- 
ment hypnosis was induced, increased intensity of the 
heart's action. 

Doctor. And I, as a doctor, am in a position to bear 
witness that your prediction was completely verified. 

Professor. [To Sakhatoff.] Yes, and you were say- 
ing • 

Sakh. I only wanted to remark that Libaut himself 
told me that hypnosis is only a peculiar physical state, 
which increases one's susceptibility to suggestion. 
Professor. That is, no doubt, true enough in a way, 

but the chief thing is the law of equivalents 

Grossmann. Besides, Libaut has not anything like 
the same authority as Charcot. Charcot has investigated 
the subject from all sides, and has proved that hypnosis 

induced by a blow 

Sakh. I don't at all deny Charcot's merits. I am 
also personally acquainted with him. I am only 
repeating what Libaut told me. 

Grossm. [Warmly.] In the Salpetriere there are 
three thousand patients, and I went through the 
whole course. 

Professor. Excuse me, gentlemen, but that is not 
the question. 
Stout Lapy. [Interfering.] I'll explain the matter in 



o 



53 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 91 

two words. "When my husband was ill, all the doctors 

gave him up 

Leon. Feod. But let us go back to the drawing-room. 
Baroness, will you kindly lead the way ? 

[Exeunt all, talking together, and each one try- 
ing to drown the others voice.] 

Scene XIX.— The three Peasants, the Female Cook, Feo- 
dor Ivanitch, Tanya, the Old Man Cook, on the stove, 
Leonid as Feodorovitch, and the Mistress of the house. 

Mistress. [Catching Leonidas Feodorovitch by the 
sleeve and stopping him.'] How often have I requested 
you not to take upon yourself the command here in the 
house. You have got all your silly vagaries to attend 
to, but the household is my affair. You have given 
everyone the contagion. 

Leon. Feod. Who ? what ? I am altogether at sea. 
What are you alluding to ? 

Mistress. What? People suffering from diphtheria 
spend the night in the kitchen, with which there is a 
continual relation kept up by all the members of the 
household. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, but I 

Mistress. What — Yes, but I ? 

Leon. Feod. I don't know anything about it. 

Mistress. Well, then, you should know. It's your 
duty to know, if you are the head of the family. This 
sort of thing cannot be tolerated. 

Leon. Feod. Why, I had not the faintest notion. I 
thought 

Mistress. It's sickening to listen to you. 

[Leonidas Feodorovitch remains silent.] 



92 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Mistress. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Turn them out this 
instant ! Don't let them stay one moment longer in my 
kitchen ! It's horrible ! No one carries out my orders ; 
it's pure malice. ... I turn them out of the ante- 
room, and they are immediately admitted into the 
kitchen. [Growing more and more excited, she at last 
bursts into tears.] It's all out of malice ! all out of 
malice ! . . . And with my illness. . . . Doc- 
tor ! Doctor ! Peter Petrovitch ! . . . He is gone 
too. . . . 

[Sobs and goes out, Leonidas Feodorovitch 
following her.] 

Scene XX. — The three Peasants, Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, 
the Female Cook, and the Old Man Cook, on the 
stove. They are all standing silent. No one speaks 
for a considerable time. 

3d Peas. Ah, God be with the whole lot of 'em. If ye 
don't keep a good look-out they'll drag you off to the 
police-station. I was never brought up for anything in 
my life. Come, lads, and let's get a lodging. 

Feod. Ivan. [To Tanya.] What's to be done ? 

Tanya. Nothing at all, Feodor Ivanitch, take them off 
to the coach-house. 

Feod. Ivan. How can we do that ? Wasn't the coach- 
man complaining a short time ago that it's full of dogs ? 

Tanya. We'll take them to the outhouse, then. 

Feod. Ivan. And if it's found out ? 

Tanya. It won't be found out. Don't be uneasy about 
that, Feodor Ivanitch. Surely we can't turn them out 
in the middle of the night. They would never find 
their way at this hour. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 93 

Feod. Ivan. Do as you like, only let them clear out of 
this. [Exit. 

Scene XXI. — The three Peasants, Tanya, the Female Cook, 
and the Old Man Cook. The Peasants are taking up 
their wallets. 

Old Man Cook. You see what devils they are. It's too 
fat they are. The devils ! 

Fem. Cook. Shut your mouth, will ye ? It's little 
thanks they've got. 

Tanya. Come along, uncles, to the outhouse. 

1st Peasant. And how is our business progressing? 
How, for example, about the signature of the affixing of 
the document. Are we to be in hopes about it ? 

Tanya. In about an hour we shall know all. 

2d Peas. Will ye bamboozle them ? 

Tanya. [Laughing.'] If it's God's will. 



Curtain. 



act in. 

Time : the evening of the same day. Place : a little sit- 
ting-room in ivhich Leonidas Feodorovitch always 
carries on his spiritualistic experiments. 

Scene 1.7— Leonidas Feodorovitch and the Professor. 

Leon. Feod. Well, what do you say ? Are we going 
to take our chance of a seance with our new medium? 

Prof. By all means. He is manifestly a medium of 
great power. The main point is to have our seance this 
evening and with the same persons. Grossmann must 
necessarily be affected by the influence of the medium- 
istic energy, and then the nexus and the unity of the 
phenomena will be more palpable. You will see that, if 
the medium proves as powerful as he was a while ago, 
Grossmann must vibrate. 

Leon. Feod. All right. I'll send for Simon and ask 
those who wish to be present to come in now. 

Prof. Very well. Allow me to jot down one or two 

remarks. 

[Takes out his notebook and writes.] 

Scene II. — The foregoing and Sakhatoff. 

Sakh. In Anna Pavlovna's room the guests are playing 
screw,* and as I am left out in the cold. . . and, be- 

* A game of cards invented in Siberia and founded on whist, 
but much more complicated and interesting. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 95 

sides, as I take an interest in the seance, I put in an 
appearance here. ... Is the seance going to take 
place ? 

Leon. Feod. Certainly, it will. 

Sakh. Keally ? And without the mediumistic powers 
of Mr. Kaptshish ? 

Leon. Feod. You have a lucky hand. Just fancy, the 
peasant I spoke to you about has proved an undoubted 
medium. 

Sakh. Is it possible ? Oh, this is extremely interesting ! 

Leon. Feod. Fact, fact. After dinner we made a little 
preliminary trial of his powers. 

Sakh. And you came to the conclusion that 

Leon. Feod. That he is a genuine medium of extraor- 
dinary power. 

Sakh. [Sceptically.'] Oh, really ! 

Leon. Feod. We discovered that the servants had long 
ago observed his spiritualistic power. He would sit 
down to his cup, for instance, and the spoon would jump 
into his hand of its own accord. [To the Professor.] 
You heard that related ? 

Prof. No, not that particular instance. 

Sakh. [To the Professor.] But you do admit the 
possibility of such phenomena ? 

Prof. Of what phenomena ? 

Sakh. I mean generally of spiritualistic, mediumistic, 
and generally supernatural phenomena. 

Prof. All depends on what you call supernatural? 
When it was discovered that a nail was attracted not by 
a living man, but by a piece of stone, how did that phe- 
nomenon appear to the observers ? Natural or super- 
natural ? 



96 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Sakh. Quite so ; but all such phenomena as the at- 
tractive power of a magnet always repeat themselves. 

Pkof. And so do these here. The phenomenon re- 
peats itself, and we subject it to a careful investigation. 
And what is more, we classify the phenomena thus in- 
vestigated, and bring them under laws common to them 
and other phenomena. The phenomena appear super- 
natural only because the causes that produce them are 
attributed to the medium. But that is erroneous. The 
truth is that they are produced not by the medium, but 
by spiritual energy acting through the medium — an 
enormous difference. The root of the whole matter is 
to be found in the law of equivalents. 

Sakh. Quite so, but 

Scene HI. — The foregoing and Tanya, who enters and 
hides herself behind the door-hangings. 

Leon. Feod. One thing should be borne in mind be- 
fore we begin, that what used to happen to Hume and 
to Kaptshish may likewise be the case with our new 
medium here, namely, that we cannot rely with cer- 
tainty upon anything in advance. The seance may be a 
failure— or there may be a complete materialization. 

Sakh. Eeally ? Even a materialization ? What sort 
of a materialization could there be ? 

Leon. Feod. One in which a dead man might appear 
to us ; your father, for example, or your grandfather, 
might come and take you by the hand and give you 
something ; or someone might suddenly float in the air, 
as happened last time when Vladimir Alexandrovitch and 
myself were present. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 97 

Prof. Undoubtedly, undoubtedly. But the important 
point is to explain the phenomena aright and bring 
them under the operation of general laws. 

Scene IV. — The foregoing and the Stout Lady. 

Stout Lady. Anna Pavlovna authorized me to come 
here. 

Leon. Peod. You are very welcome. 

Stout Lady. Isn't Grossmann awfully fatigued ? He 
was not able even to hold the cup. Did you notice how 
pale he turned [Addressing herself to the Professor.] when 
he drew near to where the spoon w r as ? I remarked it 
at once, and was the first to tell Anna Pavlovna of it. 

Prof. Undoubtedly a loss of vital energy. 

Stout Lady. That's just what I say, that one ought 
not to abuse this power. A hypnotizer suggested to a 
friend of mine — Vera Konshin — yes, you are acquainted 
with her — that she should give up smoking, and she got 
a pain in her back. 

Prof. [Preparing to speak.] The measurement of the 
temperature and of the pulse leaves no doubt 

Stout Lady. Allow me to interrupt you for one min- 
ute. I said to her : "It would be much better for you 
to smoke than to suffer as you do from your nerves." 
Of course smoking is noxious, that's clear enough, and 
I should very much like to give it up myself ; but what 
am I to do ? I really cannot. At one time I ceased 
smoking for a fortnight, but I could hold out no longer. 

Prof. [Getting ready once more to deliver himself of 
his opinion.] — leaves no doubt that 

Stout Lady. One minute, please ! I shall say what I 
7 



98 THE FBUITS OF .ENLIGHTENMENT. 

have to remark in two words. You maintain that there 
is a loss of vital power ? I wish to observe that when I 
was travelling with post-horses — the roads then were 
in a frightful condition, you probably don't remember, 
but I noticed them ; no matter what people say to the 
contrary, our nervousness is all the result of travelling 
on railroads. I can never sleep in a train, for instance — 
no, not if it were to save my life, I could not possibly 
fall asleep. 

Prof. [Making another attempt to speak, which the 
Stout Lady baffles.] — a loss of vital power 

Sakh. [Smiling.] Yes, quite so. 

Stout Lady. Even if I spend the first, the second, and 
the third night without sleep, still it is impossible for 
me to fall asleep. 

Scene V. — The foregoing and Gregory. 

Leon. Feod. Please tell Feodor to get everything 
ready for the seance and call Simon, the butler's man, 
here ; Simon, you understand ? 

Greg. Yes, sir. [Exit. 

Scene VI. — Leonidas Feodorovitch, the Professor, the 
Stout Lady, and Tanya, who is hiding behind the 
hangings. 

Prof. [To Sakhatoff.] The measurement of his tem- 
perature and pulse indicated a loss of vital forcf 
The same thing will happen at the mecliumistic manif' 
tations. The law of the conservation of energy — - 

Stout Lady. Yes, yes. I only wanted to re 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 99 

further that I am extremely glad that a common peas- 
ant proves a medium. This is excellent. I always held 
and maintained that the Slavophiles 

Leon. Feod. Let us repair to the drawing-room while 
we are waiting. 

Stout Lady. Allow me, please — just two words : the 
Slavophiles are right, but I always remarked to my hus- 
band that exaggeration should be avoided in everything. 
The golden mean. How can it be maintained, for in- 
stance, that the people are perfectly well off, when I 
myself saw with my own eyes 

Leon. Feod. Will you kindly walk into the drawing- 
room? 

Stout Lady. A boy about the size of that was 

drinking spirits already. I, of course, at once scolded 
him. And he was grateful to me afterward for it. They 
are children, mere children, and I have always held that 
what children want is love combined with severity. 
[Exeunt all, conversing as they go.] 

Scene VII. — Tanya alone, comes from behind the door- 
hangings. 

Tanya. Oh, if it only succeeds ! 
[Ties threads together.] 

Scene VIII. — Tanya and Betsy, who comes in hurriedly. 

Betsy. Isn't papa here ? [Staring at Tanya.] What 
are you doing here ? 

Tanya. I only came in, Elizabeth Leonidovna, for a 

mon: ,-nt 1 wanted 1 came in so 

[Is visibly embarrassed.] 



100 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Betsy. There will be a seance here in a few minutes, 
eh ? [Perceives that Tanya is occupied in tying threads 
together. Looks at her attentively for a moment, and then 
bursts out laughing.] Tanya ! It's you who are carrying- 
on the whole thing. Don't deny it now. The last time 
too, it was you. Wasn't it you, now? 

Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna, my dove ! 

Betsy. [In raptures.] Ah, isn't that glorious ! I had 
no idea ! Why did you do it, though ? 

Tanya. Dear young lady, don't betray me ! 

Betsy. No, not for anything in the world. I am aw- 
fully glad ! How did you manage it so well? 

Tanya. How I do it ? I hide in the beginning, and 
then when the lights are out I creep out and do the 
things. 

Betsy. [Pointing to the thread.] And what is this for? 
No, don't tell me, I know myself, you 

Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna, my dove, I'll be open 
with you — only with yourself. It was only a joke be- 
fore, but now I want to do real business. 

Betsy. What do you mean ? What business ? 

Tanya. You saw the peasants that came up from the 
country ; they want to buy land, but your papa won't 
sell it to them and won't sign the paper, and gave it 
back to them again. Feodor Ivanitch says as it's the 
spirits as told him not to. That's why I thought of 
doing it. 

Betsy. Ah, what a clever girl you are ! Go on, go 
on ! But how are you going to do it ? 

Tanya. Here's what I'm going to do. As soon as the 
light is out I'll begin to thump and knock, to shy things 
about, and to touch their heads with the thread, and at 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 101 

the end I'll throw the paper on the ground ; [I've got it 
here.] and then fling it on the table. 

Betsy. Well, and what then ? 

Tanya. Then they'll be astonished. The peasants had 
the paper and they'll suddenly see it there on the table. 
Then I'll command 

Betsy. Yes, but Simon is the medium this evening. 

Tanya. Yes, well, it's him as I'll command. [She is 
unable to continue for laughter.] I'll command him to 
squeeze under his hands whoever is sitting handy. Only 
not your papa. He wouldn't dare to do that ; but any- 
one else, until they sign the paper. 

Betsy. [Laughing.] That is not the way it's done. 
The medium never does anything himself. 

Tanya. Never mind, miss. It's all one. Pr'aps it'll 
come all right that way. 

Scene IX. — Tanya and Feodor Ivanitch. Betsy makes 
signs to Tanya and leaves the room. 

Feod. Ivan. [To Tanya.] What are you doing here ? 

Tanya. I wanted to say one word to you, Feodor Ivan- 
itch, my own dear father about my own business, 

you know, what I was talking to you about. 

Feod. Ivan. [Laughing.] I've made the match, I've 
made it, as I said I would. We shook hands over it, 
and did everything but sprinkle it. 

Tanya. [ Squealing.] Is it now really true ? 

Feod. Ivan. It's the truth I am telling you. "I'll talk 
it over with my old woman," says he, "and then God 
bless them." 

Tanya. Did he really say that ? [Squealing.] Ah, Feo- 



102 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

dor Ivanitch, my dove, won't I pray to God for you all 

my life ! 

Feod. Ivan. That'll do, now, that'll do. I've no time 
at present. The orders are to get everything ready at 
once for the seance. 

Tanya. I'll help you. What's to be got ready ? 

Feod. Ivan. What ? Why, the table has to be moved 
into the middle of the room, the chairs, the guitar, the 
concertina have to be put in their places. The lamp 
won't be wanted, because candles are always burned at 
the seance. 

Tanya. [Arranges everything with Feod. Ivan.] Is that 
right ? The guitar here ; the ink-bottle there ; look ! Is 
that right ? 

Feod. Ivan. Is it really true that they'll make Simon 
their medium in sober earnest ? 

Tanya. It looks like it. But they have had him al- 
ready. 

Feod. Ivan. It's awfully rum. [Puts his pince-nez on 
his nose.] Is he clean? 

Tanya. How can I tell ? 

Feod. Ivan. Now then, here's what you've got to 
do 

Tanya. Yes, Feodor Ivanitch? 

Feod. Ivan. Go and get the nail-brush and a cake of 
scented soap — you'll find one in my room. Cut all his 
claws and wash him, as clean as soap and water can 
make him. 

Tanya. He'll wash himself. 

Feod. Ivan. Well, go and tell him to do it. And 
make him put on clean linen. 

Tanya. Very well, Feodor Ivanitch. [Exit. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 103 



Scene X. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. Throws himself 
into the armchair. 

Feod. Ivan. To be sure they are learned men, schol- 
ars, and specialists, and so on, but there are times when 
a fellow begins to doubt whether all their learning and 
knowledge, even the Professor's there, is worth a copper 
copeck. The rude superstitions of the common people are t 
being rooted out, superstitions about fairies, magicians, 

and witches But, hang it, if you consider it carefully, 

all this business is every bit as bad a superstition as the 
common people's. Can anyone in his sober senses be- 
lieve that the spirits of the dead come here to jabber 
and play the guitar? It's clear they are throwing dust 
in their own eyes, or else someone is leading them by 
the nose. This last vagary about calling up Simon 
passes my comprehension altogether. [Looks through 
an album.] Here> for example, is their spiritualistic 
album. Now, does it sound a likely sort of thing to take 
a ghost's photograph ? Here's a photo of a Turk and 
Leonidas Feodorovitch sitting together. What a won- 
derful thing is human weakness ! 

Scene XI. — Feodor Ivanitch and Leonidas Feodorovitch. 

Leon. Feod. [Entering. ] Is everything ready ? 

Feod. Ivan. [Rising leisurely from his seat.] Quite 
ready. [Smiling.] I'm only afraid that your new me- 
dium may leave you in the lurch, Leonidas Feodoro- 
vitch. 

Leon. Feod. No fear. We tested him along with Pro- 



104 THE FRUIT 8 OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

fessor Alexis Vladimirovitch. He is a wonderfully pow- 
erful medium ! 

Feod. Ivan. I don't know anything about that. But 
is he clean ? You didn't order him to wash his hands, 
and it would be rather awkward if he doesn't. 

Leon. Feod. His hands? Ah, yes. They are dirty, 
you think? 

Feod. Ivan. Well, it's very likely they are. You see, 
he's a peasant. And there will be ladies present, and 
Mary Vassilievna. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, that's quite right. 

Feod. Ivan. Another thing I wanted to say : Timothy, 
the coachman, came to explain that he could not keep 
the place and the things clean on account of the dogs. 

Leon. Feod. [Arranging the things on the table ; absent- 
minded.] What dogs? 

Feod. Ivan. Three dogs were sent to Basil Leoniditch 
to-day, and they were put in the coach-house. 

Leon. Feod. [Angrily.] Tell Anna Pavlovna about it 
and let her take whatever measures she likes. I've no 
time to look after it. 

Feod. Ivan. You know she's so devoted to 

Leon. Feod. Well, let her do as she likes. I see 
nothing but trouble and annoyance from the fellow — 
besides, I've no time. 

Scene XH. — The foregoing and Simon, in his blouse. En- 
ters and smiles. 

Simon. Was the orders for me to come in ? 
Leon. Feod. Yes, yes, come in. Show me your hands. 
That's all right. Now, my good friend, sit down here 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 105 

and do as you did a while ago ; give yourself up to your 
feelings. And don't think of anything yourself. 

Simon. Think what ? The more you think the worse 
it is. 

Leon. Feod. Exactly, that's just it. The less sharp 
your consciousness, the more powerful the influence. 
Don't think ; but give yourself up to your mood. If 
you feel an inclination to sleep, shut your eyes and go 
to sleep ; if you wish to walk, get up and walk. Do 
you follow me ? 

Simon. I understand. There's nothing as is hard to 
understand in what you say. 

Leon. Feod. Above all things, don't be embarrassed. 
Don't be astonished at what you may see and hear. 
You must bear in mind that just as we are living, so 
there is an invisible world of spirits living here along- 
side of us. 

Feod. Ivan. [Correcting.] Beings that we cannot see ; 
is it clear ? 

Simon. [Laughing.] Clear ? In course it's clear. The 
way, as you said it, is very simple. 

Leon. Feod. You may be raised up and sent floating 
about in the air, or something else may happen to you, 
but don't you lose heart. 

Simon. Lose heart ? That I won't. Everything is 
possible, like. 

Leon. Feod. Very well, then. I'll go and invite the 
others to come in. Is everything ready ? 

Feod. Ivan. Everything, I think. 

Leon. Feod. Is the slate here ? 

Feod. Ivan, Oh, it's downstairs. I'll fetch it directly. 

[Exit. 



106 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XIII. — Leonidas Feodorovitch and Simon. 

Leon. Feod. That's all right, now. Well, I hope you 
won't be abashed ; be more at ease. 

Simon. Would you like me to take off my blouse ? I'd 
be a trifle more at ease if I did. 

Leon. Feod. Your blouse ? No, no, that will not be 
necessary ; better keep it on. [Exit. 

Scene XIV. — Simon alone. 

Simon. She gave me orders to carry on as I did be- 
fore ; and it's herself as is going to do all the shying. 
How can she have the cheek and not be afraid ? 

Scene XV. — Simon and Tanya, who enters in her stockings 
without boots, and dressed in a jacket and gown of the 
color of the wall-paper, Simon laughs. 

Tanya. Sh ! sh ! They'll hear us ! Here, gum the 
matches to your fingers like you did this morning. 
[Sticks them on.~] Do you remember everything you've 
got to do ? 

Simon. [Moving his fingers up and down.] First and 
foremost, to wet the matches. To wave my hand once. 
The second thing as I've got to perform is to make a 

noise with my teeth, this way [Hakes a noise with his 

teeth.] That's two things. The third thing I don't re- 
member. 

Tanya. Why, the third thing is the chief of all. You 
mustn't forget it. Take notice now ! The moment the 
paper falls on the table — first I'll ring the little bell — - 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 107 

then you move your hands like this Stretch them 

out more and more, and seize upon whoever is there, sit- 
ting next you. And when you've clutched him, squeeze 
him tight. [Laughing.'] Whether it's the master or the 
mistress, it's all one, you must squeeze and squeeze and 
don't let go, just as if you were asleep, and gnash your 

teeth and howl — like this [Howls in an undertone.'] 

And when you hear me playing the guitar, wake up, 
like, stretch yourself, you know how, just as if you were 
waking up in the morning. Shall you remember every- 
thing now ? 

Simon. Yes, I'll remember it all now. Only it's kill- 
ing funny ! 

Tanya. But you mustn't dare to laugh. But if you 
do, they'll think it's in your sleep, and perhaps it won't 
very much matter. But about one thing be very care- 
ful ; when they put out the candles, don't go and fall 
asleep in real earnest. 

Simon. Don't be afeard. I'll pinch my ears, I will. 

Tanya. All right now, Simey, my dove ; look sharp, 
and do everything I've told you. Don't be afraid. He 

will sign the paper. They're coming 

[Crawls under the sofa.] 

Scene XVI. — Simon and Tanya. Enter Grossmann, the 
Professor, Leonid as Feodorovitch, the Stout Lady, 
the Doctor, Sakhatoff, the Mistress of the house. 
Simon is standing at the door. 

Leon. Feod. You are very welcome, all you unbeliev- 
ers. Although the medium is new to the work, a casual 
medium, as it were, I am in hopes of remarkable mani- 
festations this evening. 



108 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Sakh. That is extremely interesting ! 

Stout Lady. [Pointing to Simon.] He looks very well. 

Mistress. For a butler's assistant, yes, but 

Sakh. Wives never have much faith in the undertak- 
ings of their husbands. You do not admit even the 
possibility ? 

Mistress. Certainly not. Kaptshish, I grant, has a 
peculiar mysterious look about him, but as for this new 
acquisition, Heaven only knows what he is like. 

Stout Lady. Pardon me, Anna Pavlovna, but that is a 
matter which is not by any means so easy to decide. 
Before I was married I had an extraordinary dream. 
Now dreams, you know, are queer things ; you never 
know where they begin and where they end. Well, as I 
was remarking, I had just such a dream 

Scene XVII. — The foregoing, Basil Leoniditch and Pe- 
trishtsheff enter. 

Stout Lady. And a great deal was revealed to me in 
that dream. Nowadays, the young men [Points to Ba- 
sil Leoniditch and Petrishtsheff.] deny everything. 

Basil Leon. I can assure you that I never deny any- 
thing. Never. How does that strike you ? 

Scene XVHI. — The foregoing. Enter Betsy and Mary 
Konstantinovna, and they enter into conversation 
with Petrishtsheff. 

Stout Lady. But how can you deny the supernatural ? 
It is not in harmony with reason, you will say. But 
reason may be silly, you know. How then ? Why, in 
the Garden Street, you know, there used to be appari- 



THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 109 

tions every evening. My husband's brother, what is his 
relationship? My beau-frere, what's the other name for 
it? I never can remember these names for the different 
degrees of relationship — well, as I was remarking, he 
went on three successive nights to witness the appari- 
tions, and he saw nothing at all, so that I say 

Leon. Feod. Well, ladies and gentlemen, who is mind- 
ed to stay during the seance ? 

Stout Lady. I am, for one. 

Sakh. And I. 

Mistress. [To the Doctor.] You are surely not going 
to stay ? 

Doctor. Yes, I must see for once in my life what it is 
that Alexis Feodorovitch sees in all this. One cannot 
go on always denying it, without proof of some kind. 

Mistress. Well, am I absolutely to take it this even- 
ing? 

Doctor. Take what ? — Ah, yes, the powder. Yes, you 
may take it, if you like. Certainly, take it by all means. 
I will look in a little later. 

Mistress. Do, please. [la a loud voice.] When you 
have finished, messieurs et mesdames, I hope you will 
honor me by coming to the drawing-room to repose 
after your emotions, and to finish your games of screw. 

Stout Lady. Absolutely. 

Sakh. Certainly. 

[The Mistress leaves.] 

Scene XIX. — The foregoing, without the Mistress. 

Betsy. [To Petrishtsheff.] I tell you to remain. I 
promise you extraordinary sights. Will you bet with 
me? 



110 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Mary Konst. Are you a believer, then ? 

Betsy. I am to-day. 

Mary Konst. [ToPetrishtsheff.] And do you believe? 

Petr. " There lives more faith in honest doubt, 
Believe me, than in half the creeds." * 
Yes, of course I believe, if Elizabeth Leonidovna tells 
me I must. 

Basil Leon. Let us remain, Mary Konstantinovna. 
How does it strike you ? I'll devise some trick, some- 
thing diverting 

Mary Konst. No, please don't make me laugh. If 
you do I shall not be able to restrain myself. 

Basil Leon. [In a loud voice.] As for me, I remain. 

Leon. Feod. [Severely .] I would request then those 
who remain not to make fun of this. It is a very seri- 
ous matter indeed. 

Petr. You hear that ? All right, we'll remain. Vovo, 
sit down here and don't lose heart. 

Betsy. You are laughing now ; but you will see what 
will happen by and by. 

Basil Leon. No, but really — what is going to take 
place ? It will be jolly ! How does it strike you ? 

Petr. [Pretending to shiver.] Oh, I'm afraid, I'm 
awfully afraid ? Mary Konstantinovna, my feet are all 
in a tremble. 

Betsy. [Laughing.'] Keep quiet, please. 
[All present take their places.] 

Leon. Feod. Be seated, ladies and gentlemen. Sit 
down, Simon. 

* In the original the quotation is from a well-known Russian 
song. I thought it advisable to substitute the lines from Temi y- 
son. E. J. D. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Ill 

Simon. Yes, sir. 

[Sits on the extreme edge of the chair.] 
Leon. Feod. Sit down comfortably. 
Prof. Sit down properly in the middle of the chair, 
and be perfectly at your ease. 

[Seats Simon on the chair. Betsy, Mary Kon- 

stantinovna, and Basil Leoniditch laugh. 

Leon. Feod. [Raising his voice.] I earnestly request 

all who remain in the room to refrain from playing 

tricks, and to treat the matter seriously. Otherwise the 

consequences may be very serious. Vovo, } t ou hear what 

I am saying ? If you don't intend to keep quiet you 

can leave the room. 

Basil Leon. Order ! 

[Hides behind the Stout Lady's back.] 

Leon. Feod. Alexis Vladimirovitch, will you put him 
in a trance ? 

Prof. Oh, no, why should I do it when Anthony Bor- 
issovitch is present? He possesses much more expe- 
rience in these things and much greater power than I 
can lay claim to. Anthony Borissovitch ! 

Grossmann. Ladies and gentlemen, I am not prop- 
erly a medium. I can only say that I have investigated 
hypnotism. True, I have studied it in all its phases, 
all its bearings. But what is known as spiritualism is a 
terra incognita to me. As results of sending the patient 
to sleep, I can expect and predict various phenomena, 
such as lethargy, anaesthesia, analgesia, catalepsy, and 
several other kindred states, as well as various degrees 
of susceptibility to suggestion. In the present case, 
however, what we are assembled to investigate is not 



112 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

symptoms of that category, but of a different kind ; con- 
sequently it would be advisable to state clearly of what 
nature these phenomena are, and what is their true 
scientific significance. 

Sakh. I entirely concur in the opinion of M. Gross- 
mann. A definition of the kind demanded would prove 
extremely interesting and of great assistance to us. 

Leon. Feod. [To the Professor.] I trust, Alexis Vladi- 
mirovitch, you will not refuse to make a short state- 
ment to elucidate the question. 

Prof. Why not ? If you like, I will explain the matter 
with pleasure. [To the Doctor.] Would you kindly 
measure his temperature and his pulse? My explana- 
tion will inevitably be superficial and concise. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, concise, concise 

Doctor. Directly. [Takes out his pocket thermometer 

and hands it to Simon.] Here, now, my lad 

[Places the thermometer.] 

Simon. Yes, sir. 

Prof. [Bises, turns to the Stout Lady, and then sits 
down.] Ladies and gentlemen : the phenomenon we 
are now gathered together to investigate is generally 
considered, on the one hand, as something perfectly 
novel, and on the other hand as something which passes 
the bounds of natural conditions. Now, neither hy- 
pothesis is correct. The phenomenon is not new ; it is 
as old as the world itself ; nor is it supernatural ; it is 
subject to, and governed by, all the eternal laws which 
regulate everything that exists. This phenomenon is 
usually defined as communion with the world of spirits. 
This definition, however, is inaccurate. According to 
this definition the spiritual world is conceived of as op- 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 113 

posed to the material world. Now, this is an erroneous 
view to take. No such opposition really exists. Both 
worlds are in such close and continual contact that it 
would be impossible to draw the line of demarcation 
which separates the one from the other. We say that 
matter is composed of molecules 

Petr. It's an awfully tiresome matter. 

[Whispers audible, and the noise of half -sup- 
pressed laughter, ,] 

Prof. [Looking round very severely.] And precisely 
as mathematical calculations have demonstrated infal- 
libly the existence of imponderable ether, which pro- 
duces such phenomena as light and electricity ; so in 
like manner a brilliant series of experiments, conducted 
in the most thoroughly scientific way, by such thinkers 
as Herrmann, Schmidt, and Joseph Schmatzofen, prove 
the existence of a substance which permeates the uni- 
verse, and may aptly be termed spiritual ether. 

Stout Lady. Ah, now I understand. How grateful I 
am that 

Leon. Feod. Yes, but could the explanation, Alexis 
Vladimirovitch, be a little shor condensed ? 

Prof. [Not replying.'] And thus a series of strictly 
scientific experiments have revealed to us, as I have al- 
ready had the honor to explain to you, the laws of me- 
diumistic phenomena. These experiments have shown 
that the process of inducing in certain persons a state 
of hypnosis which differs from ordinary sleep only in 
the circumstance that in the hypnotic state the physio- 
logical activity of the patient is not only not perceptibly 
weakened, but is always intensified, as we have already 
had occasion to notice ; it is proved that the induction 
8 



114: THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

of this sleep infallibly brings with it — no matter who 
the patient may be — certain perturbations in the spirit- 
ual ether — perturbations in all essential particulars 
analogous to those which are produced by the sudden 
plunging of a solid body into a liquid. Now, these 
perturbations are precisely what we term mediumistic 

manifestations 

[Laughter and whispering.] 

Sakh. That is quite correct and reasonable ; but let 
me ask you one question : If, as you were good enough 
to state, the circumstance that a medium falls into a 
trance, or a state of hypnosis, causes perturbations in the 
spiritual ether, why is it that these perturbations invari- 
ably assume the form — as they are expected to do in 
mediumistic seances — of a sudden activity on the part of 
the souls of individuals who are dead ? 

Pkof. For the simple reason that the particles of 
which this spiritual ether is composed are precisely the 
souls of the living, the dead, and the unborn, so that 
every perturbation of this spiritual ether inevitably 
causes a corresponding movement of its constituent 
parts. And these parts are the souls of people which, in 
consequence of this movement, enter into communica- 
tion with each other. 

Stout Lady. [To Sakhatoff.] There is nothing diffi- 
cult to understand in all that I'm so deeply, deeply 

grateful to you ! 

Leon. Feod. It seems to me that everything is per- 
fectly clear now, and we might proceed to our se- 
ance. 

Doctok. The condition of the lad is perfectly nor- 
mal ; temperature, 37 and 2 ; pulse, 74 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 115 

Prof. [Taking out his note-book and writing.'] I may 
mention, in confirmation of what I had the honor of say- 
ing a moment ago, that the instant the medium falls 
into a trance it is inevitable, as we have already ob- 
served, that his temperature and pulse should rise, ex- 
actly as in hypnosis. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, quite so. Excuse me, I only want 
to say a word to Sergius Ivanovitch in reply to his ques- 
tion : how do we know that the souls of the dead com- 
mune with us? We know it because the spirit who 
appears tells us — tells us as simply as I am now talking 
to you — who he is and why he has appeared, where he 
resides, and whether he is happy. At the last seance we 
had, I remember a Spaniard appeared, his name was 
Don Castillos, and he told us his whole history. He 
informed us who he was, when he died, and assured us 
that he was in pain because he had had a share in the 
Inquisition. Nor is that all : he actually told us what 
was happening to him at the very moment he was con- 
versing with us — that is to say, he told us that he was 
just on the point of being born again on the earth, and 
he gave that as the reason why he was unable to finish 
the conversation he had begun with us. But you will 
see for yourselves 

Stout Lady. [Interrupting.'] Now, is not that inter- 
esting ! Perhaps the Spaniard was born in our house, 
and is a little baby now. 

Leon. Feod. That is quite possible. 

Prof. I think we mi^'lit now begin. 

Leon. Feod. I only just wanted to say 

Prof. It is getting rather late. 

Leon. Feod. Very well, we may now commence. An- 



116 THE FBITITS OP ENLIGHTENMENT. 

thony Borissovitch, will you kindly put the medium to 
sleep ? 

Grossmann. How do you wish me to induce sleep ? 
There are many methods in use. For instance, there is 
the method of Brede ; there is the Egyptian symbol ; 
then again you have Charcot's method : 

Leon. Feod. [To the Professor.] It seems to me that 
it does not very much matter. 

Prof. It's quite immaterial. 

Grossmann. All right, then I shall employ my own 
method, which I showed in Odessa. 

Leon. Feod. Please. 

[Grossmann makes passes over Simon. Simon 
closes his eyes and stretches himself out.] 

Grossmann. [Glancing around.] He is slumbering — 
he is asleep. Hypnosis has been induced in an extraor- 
dinarily short space of time. Evidently the patient has 
been before in a state of anaesthesia. He is a remarkably 
susceptible subject, and might be subjected to a series 
of highly interesting .experiments. [Sits down. Bises. 
Sits down again.] Now w r e might run a pin or a needle 
into his arm. If you wish 

Prof. [To Leonid as Feodorovitch.] Do you observe 
how the medium's sleep affects Grossmann ? He is be- 
ginning to vibrate. 

Leon. Feod. Yes, I see. May we extinguish the 
lights ? 

Sakh. But why is darkness indispensable ? 

Prof. Darkness ? Because it is one of the conditions 
under which mediumistic energy manifests itself, ex- 
actly as a certain temperature is a condition of certain 
manifestations of chemical or dynamical energy. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 117 

Leon. Feod. Besides, it is not always necessary. They 
appeared to numbers of persons — to me among others— 
by the light of candles, and of the sun, too. 

Prof. Can we blow out the candles ? 

Leon. Feod. Certainly, certainly. [Bloivs them out] 
Ladies and gentlemen, I would now crave your atten- 
tion. 

[Tanya creeps noiselessly from under the sofa and catches 
hold of the thread that is attached to one of the sta- 
ples near the door.] 

Petr. I did not at all relish the Spaniard. Just imag- 
ine him in the middle of the conversation bo win o* his 

o 

head and dipping under — what's called piquer une 
tete. 

Betsy. Now wait, please, till you have seen what is 
coming. 

Petr. There is only one thing I am afraid of, that 
Vovo will grunt like a pig. 

Basil Leon. Would you like me to do it — I 

Leon. Feod. I would earnestly request the company 

not to engage in conversation. Please 

[Dead silence. Simon sucks his finger and rubs his hand 
ivith it, and brandishes the latter about.] 

Leon. Feod. Light ! Light ! Do you see a light ? 

Sakh. Yes, I see it, but allow me 

Stout Lady. Where ? where ? Ah, I did not see it ! 
Ah, there it is. I see it now. Ah ! 

Prof. [ In a whisper to Leonid as Feodorovitch, point- 
ing to Grossmann, who is moving.] Do you observe how 
he is vibrating ? A duplex power. 
[Light is again seen.] 

JjEON. Feod. [To the Professor.] Why, that's he ? 



118 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Sakh. Who is he ? 

Leon. Feod. Nicholas the Greek. That is his light. 
Is it not so, Alexis Vladimirovitch ? 

Sakh. Who is Nicholas the Greek ? 

Prof. A certain Greek who lived as a monk in the 
reign of Constantine in Constantinople, and who visits 
tis of late. 

Stout Lady. Where is he ? Where is he ? I don't see 
him. 

Leon. Feod. He is not visible yet. Alexis Vladimir- 
ovitch, he is always very favorably disposed toward you. 
Question him. 

Prof. [In a peculiar voice.] Nicholas, is that you? 
[Tanya knocks twice against the wall.] 

Leon. Feod. [Joyfully.] It's he, it's Nicholas ! 

Stout Lady. Ai ! Ai ! I'll leave the room. 

Sakh. What grounds are there for supposing that it 
is he ? 

Leon. Feod. Two knocks. That is an affirmative 
reply. Otherwise the silence would not have been 
broken. 

[Silence. Suppressed laughter from the young people's 
corner. Tanya shies the lamp-shade on the table and 
follows it up by hurling the pencil and pen-wiper.] 

Leon. Feod. [In a ivhisper.] Do you notice, ladies 
and gentlemen, that is the lamp-shade. There was 
something else — oh, it's the pencil. Alexis Vladimiro- 
vitch, it's the pencil. 

Prof. Very good. I am watching him and Gross- 
mann. Do you notice ? 

[Grossmann rises from his seat and looks at the 
things which were thrown on the table,] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT \ 119 

Sakh. Excuse me, excuse me. I should very much 
like to convince myself that it is not the medium who is 
doing all this himself. 

Leon. Feod. Do you think that possible? Sit down 
beside him and take hold of his hands. But trust me, 
he is fast asleep. 

Sakh. [Approaches ; his head comes in contact with the 
thread which Tanya immediately slackens, bending, as she 
does so, in a terrible fright.] Ah-a-a-h ! It's odd, very 
odd. [Approaches Simon and takes him by the elbow. 
Simon howls.] 

Prof. [To Leonidas Feodorovitch.] Do you observe 
how Grossmann's presence affects him ? That is a new 

phenomenon ; I must note that 

[Leaves the room and makes a note of it, after 
ivhich he returns.] 

Leon. Feod. Yes But we cannot leave Nicholas 

without an answer. We should commence 

Grossmann. [Rises from his place, goes over to Simon, 
Ufts his arm and lets it fall.] It would be interesting 
now to produce contraction. The patient is in profound 
hypnosis. 

Prof. [To Leon. Feod.] Do you see, do you see ? 

Grossmann. If you desire 

Doctor. Had you not better allow Alexis Vladimiro- 
vitch to manage everything ; it is a very serious mat- 
ter. 

Prof. Leave him alone. He is now speaking in his 
sleep. 

Stout Lady. How glad I am now that I resolved to be 
present. It is an awful sight, but still I am very glad, 
because I always used to say to my husband 



120 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Leon. Feod. Silence, please. 

[Tanya moves the thread over the Stout Lady's 
head.] 
Stout Lady. Ah ! Ai ! Ai ! 
Leon. Feod. What's the matter ? 
Stout Lady. He seized me by the hair. 
Leon. Feod. [In a whisper.] Don't fear anything. 
It's all right. Give him your hand. A spirit's hand is 
usually cold, but I rather like that. 
Stout Lady. Not for anything ! 

[Hides her hand.'] 
Sakh. Yes, it's certainly very strange, very strange ! 
Leon. Feod. He is present here and seeks communion. 
Who wishes to ask him anything ? 

Sakh. Permit me to ask him a question. 

Prof. Please. 

Sakh. Do I believe, yes or no ? 

[Tanya gives two knocks.] 
Prof. It is an answer in the affirmative. 
Sakh. Permit me to put another question. Have I a 
ten-rouble note in my pocket ? 

[Tanya knocks many times and draws the 
thread over Sakhatoff's head.] 
Sakh. Ah ! 

[Catches the thread and breaks it.] 
Prof. I would ask those present not to put vague and 
jocular questions. The spirit does not like it. 

Sakh. Allow me, please. I have the thread in my 
hands. 

Leon. Feod. Thread ? Preserve it. That frequently 
happens ; and not only thread but silk cords, very 
ancient ones they usually are. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 121 

Sakh. No, but where did this thread come from ? 

[Tanya shies a cushion at his heal.] 
Sakh. Excuse me, but I have been struck in the head 
by something soft. Light the candle — there's some- 
thing there 

Prof. We ask you not to hinder the manifestation. 
Stout Lady. For God's sake, don't hinder it ! I 
should like to put a question. Have I permission to do 
so? 

Leon. Feod. Certainly, ask it. 

Stout Lady. I should like to interrogate him about 
my digestion. May I ? I only want to ask him what I 
ought to take — aconite or belladonna ? 
[Silence; whispering in the vicinity of the young people. 
Suddenly Basil Leoniditch screams like an infant 
in arms ; ya ! ya ! ya ! Laughter. Holding their 
mouths and noses, and snorting and tittering, the 
young ladies rush out of the room, and Petrishtsheff 
with them.] 
Stout Lady. Ah, it's true then ; this monk here has 
also been born again ! 

Leon. Feod. [In a paroxysm of fury, speaking in a 
whisper.] I never see anything but tomfoolery from 
you. If you can't conduct yourself properly, leave the 
room ! 

[Basil Leoniditch leaves the room.] 



122 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XX. — Leonidas Feodorovitch, the Professor, the 
Stout Lady, Sakhatoff, Grossmann, the Doctor, 
Simon, and Tanya. Obscurity — silence. 

Stout Lady. Ah, what a pity ! Now it is too late to 
ask him anything more. He is already born again. 

Leon. Feod. Not at all. That is another of Vovo's 
tricks. But he is present in the room. Question him. 

Prof. That is a frequent occurrence. These jokes 
and sneers are often met with. I believe he is still in 
the room. At all events we can ask. Leonidas Feodoro- 
vitch, will you inquire ? 

Leon. Feod. No, you, please. That incident has upset 

me. It is very vexing. A complete want of tact 

Prof. As you like. Nicholas, are you still here ? 
[Tanya knocks twice and rings the bell. Simon begins to 
hotel and brandish his hands. He seizes Sakhatoff 
and the Professor and squeezes them.] 
Prof. "What an unexpected manifestation ! Reaction 
on the medium himself. I never observed this before. 
Leonidas Feodorovitch, will you observe him, it is diffi- 
cult for me to do it. He is squeezing me. Now is the 
time to watch Grossmann ; give him all your attention. 
[Tanya throws the Peasant's document on the 
table.] 
Leon. Feod. What has fallen on the table now ? 
Prof. See what it is that has just fallen ? 
Leon. Feod. A paper. A folded sheet of paper. 

[Tanya throws the pocket inkstand.] 
Leon. Feod. An inkstand ! 

[Tanya shies the pen.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 123 

Leon. Feod. A pen ! 

[Simon hotels and squeezes.'] 
Prof. [Squeezed as in a vise.] Permit me, permit 
me ; this is a quite novel manifestation ; the action be- 
ing performed not by the mediumistic energy produced, 
but by the medium himself. But open the ink-bottle 
and put the pen on the paper. He is going to write, he 
will certainly write. 

[Tanya steals up behind Leonid as Feodorovitch and 

gives him a sound blow on the head with the guitar.] 

Leon. Feod. I have been struck on the head ! [Looks 

on the table.] The pen is not writing yet, and the paper 

is still folded. 

Prof. Look at the paper and see what kind of paper 
it is ; make haste ; obviously there is a twofold force at 
work ; his and Grossmann's — that is what is producing 
the perturbations. 

Leon. Feod. [Goes out with the paper and immediately 
returns.] It's incredible ! This paper here is the con- 
tract with the Peasants, which I refused to sign this 
morning and returned to them ! Perhaps he wishes me 
to sign it now ? 

Prof. Evidently ! Of course he does ! But ask 
him. 

Leon. Feod. Nicholas ! Do you wish 

[Tanya knocks twice.] 
Prof. Do you hear that ? It is perfectly evident ! 
[Leonidas Feodorovitch takes up the pen and leaves the 
room. Tanya knocks, plays the guitar and the con- 
certina, and crawls back to her hiding-place under the 
sofa., Leonidas Feodorovitch returns, Simon stretches 
himself and coughs.] 



124 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Leon. Feod. He is awaking. We might light the 
candles. 

Prof. [Hurriedly.] Doctor, doctor, please— his tem- 
perature and pulse. You will see directly that there 
will be a rise in both. 

Leon. Feod. Well, unbelievers, what have you to say 
now ? 

Doctor. [Going up to Simon and placing the thermom- 
eter.] Now, lad ! Have you been sleeping? Stand up 
and give me your hand. 

[Looks at his vjatch.] 

Sakh. [Shrugging his shoulders.] I can only affirm 
that the medium could not do everything that was 
done. But what about the thread? — I should like to 
have that explained. 

Leon. Feod. The thread! the thread ! There were 
other manifestations more serious than that. 

Sakh. I don't know. At all events I reserve my 
opinion. 

Stout Lady. [To Sakhatoff.] Now, how can you say 
that you reserve your opinion? What do you say to 
the baby with the wings? Did you not see him? At 
first I thought it was an illusion, but little by little it 
grew more and more distinct, until at last it was per- 
fectly life-like 

Sake. I can only speak of what I saw. I did not see 
that at all. 

Stout Lady. How is that possible ? Why, it could 
not have been more clearly visible. And on the left 
side a monk in a black habit was bending down over 
him. 

Sakh. [.isicte.] What an exaggeration ! 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 125 

Stout Lady. [To the Doctor.] You must have seen 
it. He rose up from your side of the room. 

[The Doctor pays no attention to her, but goes 
on counting the pulsations.'] 

Stout Lady. [To Grossmann.] And the light, the 
light that beamed from him, especially around his dear 
little face. And what a mild, sweet, tender expression ! 
There was something heavenly in it ! 

[She herself smiles tenderly.] 

Grossmann. I saw the phosphoric light and I noticed 
that certain things changed their places. But I did not 
observe anything else. 

Stout Lady. Nonsense ! You are only joking. You 
speak in that w T ay because you belong to the learned 
school of Charcot and do not believe in a life beyond 
the grave. But now no one will ever skake my faith in 
a future existence ! Never, never ! 

[Grossmann walks away from her.] 

Stout Lady. No, no ; say what you will, but this is 
one of the happiest moments of my life. When Sara- 
sate played, and this Yes — [No one pays any atten- 
tion to her. She goes up to Simon.] Tell me, my friend, 
what you experienced. Was it very painful for you ? 

Simon. [Laughs.] That it was. 

Stout Lady. Still it was possible to bear up under it ? 

Simon. That it was. [To Leonidas Feodoroyttch.] Is 
it your orders as I'm -to go, sir ? 

Leon. Feod, Go, go. 

Doctor. [To the Professor.] The pulse is the same, 
but the temperature is somewhat lower. 

Prof. Lower? [Reflects a moment, and then suddenly 
divines the solution.] That is exactly as it should be. 



126 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

There must be a lowering of the temperature ! The 
twofold energy, each intersecting the other, must inevit- 
ably produce something like interference Yes, yes ! 

Leon. Feod.* One thing I very much regret, that he 
had not a complete materialization. But still, ladies 
and gentlemen, will you kindly adjourn to the drawing- 
room ? 

Stout Lady.* What impressed me most of all was 
when he flapped his little wings, and made ready to fly 
away. 

Grossmann.* [To Sakhatoff.] If we had stuck to 
simple hypnosis, w T e might have produced complete 
epilepsy. We should have had unparalleled success. 

Sakh.* It is interesting, but not quite convincing ! 
That is all that I can say about it. 

Scene XXI. — Leonid as Feodorovitch, with the paper in his 
hand. Enter Feodor Ivanitch. 

Leon. Feod. Well, Feodor, it was a seance and no 
mistake ; simply wonderful ! It appears that I have to 
let the Peasants have the land on their own conditions. 

Feod. Ivan. Keally ! 

Leon. Feod. Yes, it has to be. [Showing him the doc- 
ument.'] Fancy, the paper that I returned them sud- 
denly appeared on the table. I signed it. 

Feod. Ivan. How did it get there ? 

Leon. Feod. It got there somehow or other. 

[Feodor Ivanitch accompanies him out of the 
room.'] 

* All four persons speak together as they are leaving the room. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 127 



Scene XXII. — Tanya alone. Craivls from under the sofa 
and laughs. 

Tanya. Father above ! didn't I get a fright when he 
caught the thread ! [Squeals.] Well, it succeeded in 
the end — he signed the paper ! 

Scene XXIII. — Tanya and Gregory. 

Greg. So it was you that bamboozled them all along ! 

Tanya. What's that to you ? 

Greg. And do you suppose that the mistress will 
thank you for that ? No, miss, you are mightily mis- 
taken if you do. I'll go and tell the whole story of 
your tricks unless you consent to dance a little to my 
piping. 

Tanya. I won't dance to your music — and you shan't 
do me any harm neither ! 



Curtain. 



ACT rv. 

Scene and decorations the same as in Act I. 

Scene I. — Two liveried Men-in- Waiting, Feodor 
Ivanitch, and Gregory. 

1st Man-in-Waiting. [With gray whiskers.] Yours is 
the third house as we've visited to-day. It is a blessing 
that the at-home days are all in one quarter of the city. 
Thursday used to be your day. 

Feod. Ivan. We changed it Saturday, to have it the 
same day as the Golovkins, the Von Grabes 

2d Man-in-Waiting. The Shtsherb-akoffs do the thing 
respectable ; it's all one as a ball, they treat the men-in- 
waiting so hospitably. 

Scene II. — The foregoing. The Princess and her 
daughter descend the staircase, accompanied by 
Betsy. The Princess glances at her little book, and 
at her watch, and sits down on the bench. Gregory 
puts her boots on. 

Young Prin. Please do come. If you refuse, Dodo 
will refuse too, and it will all come to nothing. 

Betsy. I cannot promise. I must be at the Shoobin's 
without fail. Then I've got my rehearsal. 

Young Prin. You will have plenty of time. Please do 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 129 

come. Do not disappoint us. Fedy will be there, and 
Koko. 

Betsy. Oh, that Koko! He positively bores me to 
death. 

Young Prin. I expected to find him at your place. 
Usually he is so scrupulously punctual that 

Betsy. He is sure to be here. 

Young Prin. Every time I see him with you he gives 
me the impression as if he had just offered you, or was 
on the point of offering you, his hand and his heart. 

Betsy. Yes, I dare say it's an ordeal I shall have to 
pass through. And a very disagreeable one it is ! 

Young Prin. Poor Koko ! He is so terribly in love. 

Betsy. Cease ! Les gens ! . 
[The Princess sits down on the sofa, continuing to con- 
verse in a whisper. Gregory puts her boots on.~] 

Young Prin. Good-by till this evening, then. 

Betsy. I will do my best to come. 

Young Prin. Tell your papa that I do not believe in 
anything, but that I will come to see his new medium 
all the same. Let him send me word when. Good-by, 
ma belle. 

[Kisses Betsy and leaves, escorted by her. 
Betsy then goes upstairs.~\ 

Scene III. — Two Lackeys, Feodor Ivanitch, and Gregory. 

Greg. I don't like putting old women's boots on for 
them. They cannot stoop ; their abdomen hinders them 
from seeing what's going on on the floor, and they kick 
right and left, and never get their feet in the boots. 
How different when it's a young lady that you have to 
9 



130 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

manipulate. How nice to take her dainty little feet in 
your hands. 

2d Lackey. You, too, go in for choosing and picking ! 

1st Lackey. Individuals of our calling in life are not 
supposed to pick and choose in such matters. 

Greg. I should like to know why not. Are we not 
human beings too ? It's them that think we don't un- 
derstand, and can't, appreciate, and so on. When they 
were talking a few minutes ago they looked at me, and 
said in French, "lay John." [Les gens.] 

2d Lackey. And what might that mean ? 

Greg. I'll translate it for you. It means : don't talk, 
or they'll understand you. At dinner it's the same 
thing, and I understand them. You say there's a differ- 
ence between them and us. There's not the ghost of a 
difference. 

1st Lackey. Oh, yes, there is a considerable difference 
for the fellow that comprehends what they're saying. 

Greg. There is no difference at all, I tell you. To- 
day I am a lackey, but to-morrow I may be living as 
comfortably as themselves, every bit. Don't their 
daughters sometimes get married to lackeys ? Do you 
forget that ? But I am going out for a smoke. [Exit. 

Scene IV. — The foregoing , without Gregory. 

2d Lackey. That's a bold young man you have here. 

Feod. Ivan. And an empty-headed one. He is not fit 
for the service ; he was a clerk behind the counter — now 
he is spoiled. I advised them not to take him, but he 
took the mistress's fancy. For riding out he was 
taken, I suppose. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 131 

1st Lackey. I'd send him to our Count ; he'd soon put 
him straight, and make him mind his p's and q's. Oh, 
doesn't he hate .such Jack-in-the-boxes ! If you're a 
lackey, he wants you to be a lackey and nothing else. 
Do credit to your calling, and no nonsensical pride. 
That's his motto. 

Scene V. — TJie foregoing. Petrishtsheff runs down- 
stairs, and takes out a cigarette. He meets Koko 
Kltngen, who is ivearing his pince-nez. 

Petrish. [Lost in reverie.] Yes, yes, that's it. My 

second is the same as "ka." My whole Yes, yes 

Ah, good-day, Koko-Cockatoo. Where do you hail 
from ? 

Koko. From Shtsherba-koffs. You are always fool- 
ing 

Petrish. No, but just guess this charade : My first is 
identical with a famous monarch's name, my second is 
the same as " ka," and my whole 

Koko. I really don't know. And, besides, I've no 
time now. 

Petr. Why, where are you bound for ? 

Koko. What do you mean? Why, to Iveen's, of 
course ; they've a singing rehearsal, and I must be 
there. After that, I have to go to the Shoobin's, and 
then to the rehearsal. Why, you have to be there 
yourself. 

Petr. Certainly, I shall be there ; at the rehearseal, 
and at the re-coach-al. My role was only that of a wild 
man before, whereas now I am a wild man and a general 
also. 



132 THE FMZflfS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Koko. How did yesterday's seance pass off? 

Pete. I nearly choked with laughing. There was 
a rustic there as a medium, but the darkness was the 
best part of it. Vovo squeaked like a baby, the Pro- 
fessor explained matters, and Mary Vassilievna inter- 
preted them. It was as good as a comedy. It's an 
awful pity you were not there ! 

Koko. I am afraid, mon cher. You turn everything 
off with a joke very dexterously, you know ; but the 
fact is, I am afraid that if I make even a most trivial re- 
mark, you will give it such a turn as will make it seem 
to everyone that I have proposed for her hand. And 
that would not suit me at all, mon cher ; not at all, you 
know. 

Pete. Let your proposal of hand and heart not be 
a disposal of either. That's your cue. Come along to 
Vovo's room, and well go to the re-coach-al together. 

Koko. I cannot understand how you can be always 
together with that stupid ass. He is the very incarna- 
tion of stupidity. 

Pete. I like the fellow all the same. I love him, but 

it is 

" such love as spirits feel 
In worlds whose course is equable aud pure." 

[Leaves the room, and goes into Basil Leoni- 
ditch's room.'] 

Scene VI. — The two Lackeys-in- Waiting, Feodoe Ivan- 
itch, and Koko Klingen. Betsy is seen escorting a 
Lady. Koko salutes her significantly. 

Betsy. [Shaking hands ivith him sideways. To the 
Lady.] You are acquainted, I think ? 






THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 133 

Lady. No. 

Betsy. Baron Klingen, why were you not here yester- 
day ? 

Koko. It was an impossibility ; I could not manage it. 

Betsy. It's a great pity. It was immensely interest- 
ing. [Laughs.] You should have seen what kind of mani- 
festations we had ! Well, how is our charade getting od ? 

Koko. Fairly. The verses on " my second " are ready. 
Nick composed them, and I wrote the music. 

Betsy. Do sing a line of it for me ! What is it like? 

Koko. Let me think. Ah, yes ! The Knight is sing- 
ing to Nouni ; or better take the other, " My first." 

Betsy. [To the Lady.] "My first" is "are" [the word 
is arena], and Are is a savage who wants to eat the ob- 
ject of her love. [Laughs.] She prowls about and 
pines and sings — 

My appetite 

Koko. [Interrupting.'] 'S a wicked wight. 

Betsy. \ Continuing.] Some lad I long to swallow. 

I prowl and growl, 

Koko But can't fall foul 

Betsy. Of a fat and tender fellow. 

Lady. It is truly charming ! 

Betsy. But isn't it too awfully stupid? 

Koko. That is the beauty of the thing. 

Lady. Who is Are? 

Betsy. I am. I had a costume made for the part, 
but mamma calls it " indecent." But it is not one whit 
more indecent than a good low ball-dress is. [To Feo- 
dor Ivanitch.] Is there anyone here from Bourdet's? 

Feod. Ivan. Yes, miss, their clerk is in the kitchen, 
waiting. 



134 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Lady. What is the whole, the word arena, like ? 
Betsy. You will see. I shall not spoil your pleasure 
by telling you anything more beforehand. Good-by. 
Lady. Good-by. 

[They salute each other. Exit Lady.] 
Betsy. [To Koko.] Come with me to mamma. 

[Betsy and Koko go upstairs.] 

Scene VII. — Feodor Ivanitch, the two Lackeys, and James. 
The latter comes from the pantry ivith a tray, tea, and 
cakes, puffing and snorting as he passes through the 
antechamber. 

James. [To the Lackeys.] My best respects, my best 
respects. 

[The Lackeys salute him.] 
James. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] I wish you would ask 
Gregory Michaelovitch to help me. I'm fagged out ! 

[Exit. 

Scene VIII. — The foregoing, without James. 

1st Lackey. A hard-working man that seems. 

Feod. Ivan. A very good fellow he is ; but somehow 
he does not please the mistress. He is not imposing 
enough, she says. And yesterday they were down upon 
him for letting the Peasants into the kitchen. They 
may cashier him for it, for all I know. But he is a 
first-rate fellow, no matter what they say. 

2d Lackey. What Peasants did he admit ? 

Feod. Ivan. Some peasants that came from the Govern- 
ment of Kursk to buy land. It was night-time, and 
they were countrymen of his, so he took them to the 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 135 

kitchen, and as ill-luck would have it, a performance of 
thought-reading was going on. Something was hid in 
the kitchen ; all the ladies and gentlemen came into the 
kitchen, and the mistress espied the Peasants there. 
"How dare you?" she says. "They are infected; 
perhaps these men are. And nothing will do but you 
must bring them into the kitchen ! " She is terribly 
frightened of that contagion. 

Scene IX. — The foregoing and Gregory. 

Feod. Ivan. Gregory, go and give James a hand, he 
is awfully tired. I'll remain here alone till you come 
back. He can't manage all he's got to do by himself. 

Greg. He is not smart or handy — that's what's wrong 
with him. [Exit. 

Scene X. — The foregoing, without Gregory. 

1st Lackey. What new fashion is that that's prevailing 
now, wherever you go — these infections and things? 
Yours is afraid of it too, is she ? 

Feod. Ivan. She fears it w r orse than fire, she does. 
All her thoughts now are of smoking, washing, and 
sprinkling the room. 

1st Lackey. That's what that heavy smell is that I re- 
mark. [Vivaciously.] It is absurd ! and what sins are 
committed with these infections and rubbish! It's 
scandalous ! They've forgotten God altogether. When 
the daughter of our mistress's sister, Princess Mossoloff, 
died the other day, what d'ye think happened ? Neither 
the father nor the mother would go into the room 



136 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

while she was dying ! And they didn't even take leave 
of the poor thing, who was crying her eyes out to see 
them, and say good-by for the last time ! The doctor, 
it seems, found that there was some infection in the 
room. And yet, in spite of all the bosh they talk about 
it, didn't her chambermaid go into her room twenty 
times a day, and the sick-nurse too, and they were never 
a bit the worse for it ! 

Scene XI. — The foregoing, Bash, Leoniditch and Pet- 
rishtsheff smoking cigarettes as they enter. 

Pete. Do come. I'll only go and fetch Koko-Cock- 
atoo. 

Basil Leon. He's a blockhead, is your Koko. I can't 
bear the sight of him. He is an empty-headed duffer, a 
perfect dolt. He never has anything in hand, but is al- 
ways moping and moping about. How does it strike 
you? 

Petr. Wait a second, anyhow. I'll say good-by to 
him, at all events. 

Basil Leon. All right. While you're away I'll go and 
have a look at my dogs in the coach-house. One of 
hhem is so confoundedly vicious, the coachman says, 
that he was near being eaten by him. How does that 
strike you ? 

Petr. Who was nearly being eaten, by whom ? Surely 
the coachman would not think of devouring your dog ? 

Basil Leon. Oh, you were ever and always 

[Puts on his top-coat and leaves.'] 

Petr. [ Reflectively. ~] My second is — Yes; that's 

it 

[Goes upstairs.'] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 137 



Scene XII. — TJie two Lackeys, Feodor Ivanitch, and James. 
The latter runs across the stage at the beginning and 
at the end of the scene. 

Feod. Ivan. [To James.] What's wanted now ? 

James. The bread and batter is not cut up into slices ! 
I told them. . [Exit. 

2d Lackey. And when our master's son fell sick they 
packed him off at once to the hotel with the nurse, and 
he died there without seeing his mother. 

1st Lackey. Just like them. Those swells are not 
afraid of committing any sin. It's my private opinion 
that, no matter where you go or what you do, you can- 
not escape from God. 

Feod. Ivan. That's what I believe, too. 

[James runs upstairs with the slices of bread 
and butter.] 

1st Lackey. And observe what I say. If we've got to 
be afraid of everybody because they may have the con- 
tagion, we might as well shut ourselves up within four 
walls, just as in prison, and sit there without ever stir- 
ring out. 

Scene XIII. — The foregoing and Tanya. James enters a 
little later. 

Tanya. [Salutes the Lackeys.] Good-day ! 

[The Lackeys salute her.] 
Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch ! I have a word to say to 
you. 

Feod. Ivan. Well, what is it ? 

Tanya. The Peasants are back here again. 



138 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Feod. Ivan. What of that ? I gave the document to 
Simon. 

Tanya. Yes ; I gave them the document. They don't 
know how to be thankful enough. They would like 
now to pay the money. 

Feod. Ivan. Where are they ? 

Tanya. They are standing there on the doorsteps. 

Feod. Ivan. All right, I'll go and deliver the message. 

Tanya. I have another request to make, Feodor Ivan- 
itch, my dear father ! 

Feod. Ivan. Well, what next? 

Tanya. It's this, Feodor Ivanitch, that I cannot stay 
here any longer. Ask them. Discharge me. 
[James rushes in.] 

Feod. Ivan. [To James.] What's wanted now? 

James. Another samovar and oranges. 

Feod. Ivan. Ask the housekeeper for them. 
[James rushes of.] 

Feod. Ivan. What's that for? 

Tanya. It has to be. It can't be altered. 

James. [Running in. ] There's not enough oranges ! 

Feod. Ivan. Serve as many as you can find. [James 
runs out.] What a time you have chosen to go away. 
You see the bustle and fuss there is going on 

Tanya. You know, Feodor Ivanitch, that that bustle 
never comes to an end ; no matter how long I might 
wait, it would still go on and on ; and you know that 
the step I am going to take is for ever and ever. You, 
Feodor Ivanitch, my good father, you have done me a 
good turn, and now crown it by finding an opportunity 
to tell them and get me my discharge. If you don't, 
herself will be angry and won't give me my passport. 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 139 

Feod. Ivan. Why are you leaving in such a hurry- 
skurry way, as if the Old Boy were at your heels? 

Tanya. Because, now, you know, Feodor Ivanitch, as 
the business i3 done and over— I should like to go to 
my godmother and get ready, you know. And the wed- 
ding will be the week after Easter. Do tell him, Feo- 
dor Ivanitch. 

Feod. Ivan. Go away now — that's not the place for 
you to be standing in. 

Scene XIV. — TJie Elderly Gentleman comes downstairs 
' and departs in silence, escorted by the 2d Lackey. 
Tanya is seen going out. Feodor Ivanitch, the 1st 
Lackey, and James entering. 

James. They've cut me to the quick, Feodor Ivan- 
itch ; there's herself as wants to give me my discharge. 
You break everything you touch, she says, and you for- 
got Fiffra, and you took the Peasants to the kitchen in 
spite of my orders to the contrary. And you know 
that's not true, I am innocent of it as the child un- 
born. I was told by Tanya to take them to the kitchen, 
but I didn't know whose orders it was. 

Feod. Ivan. Has the mistress told you she was going 
to give you your discharge ? 

James. Yes, she's just told me. Intercede for me, 
Feodor Ivanitch ! My family were only just beginning 
to look up a little, and now if I lose my place, they'll 
be as low as ever they was before. And God knows 
that's low enough. Feodor Ivanitch, do intercede for me ! 



140 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XV. — Feodob Ivanitch, 1st Lackey, and Mistress 
escorting the Old Countess with the false hair and 
teeth. The 1st Lackey is putting on the Old Count- 
ess's boots. 

Mistress. By all means, certainly. I am deeply 
touched. 

Countess. If it were not for my ill-health, I would be 
much oftener here. 

Mistress. Now do take Peter Petrovitch. He is a 
little rough, but no one can alleviate your sufferings 
as he can. Everything he does seems so simple and so 
clear. 

Countess. No, I am accustomed to my own. 

Mistress. Be very careful. 

Countess. Thanks, my best thanks. 

Scene XVI. — The foregoing and Gregory, looking dis* 
he veiled and greatly excited, and rushing in from the 
pantry. Behind him Simon is visible. 

Simon. Well, then, don't dare to molest her. 

Greg. I'll teach you, you scoundrel, I'll teach you 
how to fight. Ah, you — miserable vagabond ! 

Mistress. What's that about? Do you take this 
house for a tavern ? 

Greg. I can't live here with this clownish peasant. 

Mistress. You have taken leave of your senses ! Do 
you not see? [To the Countess.] Thanks, a thousand 
thanks. Good-by, till Tuesday, then. 

[The Countess and the 1st Lackey leave.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 141 



Scene XVII. — Feodor Ivanitch, Mistress, Gregory, and 

Simon. 

Mistress. [To Gregory.] "What does that mean ? 

Greg. Although I am serving as a lackey, I have my 
own feeling of pride, and I won't allow a boorish peas- 
ant to knock me about. 

Mistress. What has happened? 

Greg. Your Simon forgot his place since ever he was 
allowed to sit with his superiors. And now nothing 
will do him but fight. 

Mistress. What's that for ? 

Greg. God only knows. 

Mistress. [To Simon.] What is the meaning of your 
conduct ? 

Simon. What does he run after her for ? 

Mistress. What has happened between you ? 

Simon. [Smiling.] He's always throwing his arms 
round her waist — Tanya's, that is, the chambermaid's. 
And she won't have it. Well, I removed his hand a 
little — so, like that 

Greg. A nice way of removing my hand ! He nearly 
broke my rib, and he tore my swallow-tail coat. And 
all the time he kept saying, " I feel the power I had 
yesterday coming upon me again." And he began to 
hug and squeeze me till I thought every rib in my body 
was broken. 

Mistress. [To Simon.] How dare you fight in my 
house ? 

Feod. Ivan. Would you allow me to tell your ladyship, 
Anna Pavlovna, that Simon entertains sentiments toward 



142 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

Tanya, and that they are engaged to be married ; and 
Gregory — if the truth must be told — conducts himself 
badly toward her — shamefully. It's this, I dare say, 
that vexed Simon. 

Greg. Not at all. It's all from spite, because I found 
out their trickery and deceit. 

Mistress. What deceit ? 

Greg. At the seance. All the things that happened 
yesterday were done by Tanya, and not by Simon. I 
saw her myself, when she was crawling from under the 
sofa. 

Mistress. What was crawling from under the sofa? 

Greg. I give you my word of honor. It was she that 
brought in the document and put it on the table. If it 
was not for her the paper would not have been signed, 
and the Peasants would not have got the land. 

Mistress. You say you saw that yourself? 

Greg. With my own eyes. If you order her to come 
here she won't deny it. 

Mistress. Call her at once. [Exit Gregory. 

Scene XVIII. — The foregoing, without Gregory. Noise 
behind the scenes, the voice of the Hall-Porter 
audible, saying : " You must not, you must not." The 
Hall-Porter appears, the three Peasants rush past 
him, the 2d Peasant leading the loay. The 3d 
Peasant slips, falls, and takes hold of his nose. 

Hall-Porter. You must not, you must not ! 

2d Peas. Maybe no harm will come of it. Are we 
wanting to get in to do a bad action ? We w r ant to pay 
the money. 



THE FBTJITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 143 

1st Peas. Undoubtedly, after the signature was affixed 
to the handwriting the consummation of the deed was 
terminated. What we now want is to give the money 
and our thanks. 

Mistress. Don't be in a hurry to offer your thanks. 
It was all a trick. It is not finished yet. The land is 
not yet sold. Leonidas ! Call Leonidas Feodorovitch ! 

[Exit Hall-Porter. 

Scene XIX. — The foregoing and Leonidas Feodorovitch, 
who enters, but on perceiving the Mistress and the 
Peasants is about to turn on his heels. 

Mistress. No, no ! Please come here. I told you 
that you should not sell the land on credit, and every- 
one told you the same thing. And here, now, you have 
been deceived like the most stupid man. 

Leon. Feod. How deceived ? I don't follow you. In 
what? 

Mistress. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 
You, a gray-haired man, and they leading you by the 
nose, and laughing at you all the time. You grudge 
your son a miserable three hundred roubles to help 
him keep up his social position, and they cheat you out 
of thousands. 

Leon. Feod. Annette, calm yourself. 

1st Peas. "We only wished that the payment of the 
sum 

3d Peas. [Getting the money ready.] Let us go, for 
Christ's sake ! 

Mistress. Wait a little, wait a little. 



144 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 



Scene XX. — The foregoing, Gregory, and Tanya. 

Mistress. [Severely to Tanya.] Yesterday, during the 
seance, you were in the little parlor ? 
[Tanya sighs and looks around at Feodor Ivanitch, Leon- 
id as Feodorovitch, and Simon.] 

Greg. There's no use in backing out of it now, for I 
saw you myself- 

Mistress. Answer me, were you ? I know all, so you 
had better confess. I shall not do you any harm. I 
only want to convict him there [Pointing to Leonidas 
Feodorovitch], the master. — You threw the paper on 
the table. 

Tanya. I don't know what to answer. This is my 
answer : can't you discharge me, and let me go home ? 

Mistress. [To Leonidas Feodorovitch.] You see that 
now ; they have been fooling you nicely. 

Scene XXI. — The same. Betsy enters at the beginning 
of the scene and remains unnoticed. 

Tanya. Discharge me, Anna Pavlovna ! 

Mistress. No, my love. You have caused a loss, per- 
haps, of several thousands. We have sold land that 
should not have been sold. 

Tanya. Discharge me, Anna Pavlovna ! 

Mistress. No, I will not. You will be responsible for 
all this. You must not cheat. I will prosecute you be- 
fore the magistrate. 

Betsy. [Stepping forward.] Discharge her, mamma. 
But if you are really bent on prosecuting her, prosecute 



THE FRUITS OP ENLIGHTENMENT. 145 

me at the same time, because I was along with her and 
had a hand in all she did yesterday. 

Mistress. Ah, of course, if you had a hand in it, noth- 
ing but villainy could come of it ! 



Scene XXII. — The foregoing and the Professor. 

Prof. Good-day, Anna Pavlovna ! Good-day, Miss 
Betsy ! I have brought you, Leonidas Feodorovitch, a 
report of the 13th Congress of Spiritualists in Chicago. 
Schmidt delivered a wonderful speech there. 

Leon. Feod. Ah, that will be interesting. 

Mistress. I can tell you something much more inter- 
esting than that. It has been proved that this hussy 
here has hoaxed yourself and my husband. Betsy de- 
nounces herself — but that is only to irritate me ; as a 
matter of fact you were befooled by this ignorant girl ! 
And yet you still believe ! There were no mediumistic 
manifestations yesterday at all ; it was she alone who 
operated, and did everything. 
\ Points to Tanya.] 

Prof. {Taking off his overcoat.] What do you mean ? 

Mistress. I mean that it was she w r ho in the darkness 
played the guitar, that it was she who knocked my hus- 
band on the head and managed all your other tom- 
fooleries, and she has just confessed to it. 

Prof. [Smiling.] Well, and what does that prove ? 

Mistress. That your mediumism is an absurdity. 
That is what it proves. 

Prof. Because this girl strove to deceive us, therefore 
mediumism is trash. That, if I gather it aright, is your 
10 



146 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

contention? [Smiling.] A very strange conclusion it is! 
It is very probable that this girl did really intend to 
deceive us. Such things are of frequent occurrence. 
It may be that she actually performed something. But 
whatever she did, she did herself, and what was mani- 
fested as the result of mediumistic energy was the 
result of mediumistic energy, and of nothing else. 
I will go still further, and say that it is highly prob- 
able that the action of that girl was instrumental in 
soliciting — if I may use the expression — in soliciting 
the manifestation of the mediumistic force, and impart- 
ing to it the definite form which it assumed. 

Mistress. Another lecture ! 

Prof. [Severely.] You assert, Anna Pavlovna, that 
that girl, and perhaps that amiable young lady, were 
the authoresses of certain so-called manifestations of 
spiritualistic form ; but are you prepared to affirm that 
they also produced the light which we beheld, and like- 
wise the increase and decrease of temperature, and the 
excitement and vibration of Grossmann ? And yet these 
are facts, I say, Anna Pavlovna ! No, Anna Pavlovna, 
these are matters which must be studied and completely 
understood before one trusts one's self to speak of them 
— matters far too serious, far too serious 

Leon. Feod. And the child that Vassilievna saw so 

distinctly ? And I saw it myself, too This girl could 

not have produced that. 

Mistress. You think you are clever and intelligent, 
no doubt. Let me tell you then, that you are a fool ! 

Leon. Feod. I had better go. Alexis Vladimirovitch, 
come to my room. 

[Goes to his study.] 



THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 147 

Prof. [Shrugging his shoulders and following him.] 
Alas ! what an abyss still separates us from enlightened 
Europe ! 

Scene XXffl. — The Mistress, the three Peasants, Feodor 
Ivanitch, Tanya, Betsy, Gregory, Simon, and James, 
ivho enters. 

Mistress. [Following Leonidas Feodorovitch.] He 
has been led by the nose like any fool, and he is not 
conscious of it. [To James.] What do you want? 

James. For how many persons am I to lay covers ? 

Mistress. For how many ? — Feodor Ivanitch ! take 
over the silver plate from him ! Begone this minute ! 
He is the cause of it all. That fellow will drag me to 
my grave. Yesterday he very nearly starved to death 
the little dog that never did him any harm. Not satis- 
fied with this, he brought the infected Peasants into 
the kitchen yesterday, and here they are to-day again. 
He is the cause of all the trouble ! Begone, I tell you, 
begone this instant ! Discharge him, pay him his 
wages, and discharge him. [To Simon.] And if ever 
again you dare to make a noise in my house, you 
wretched peasant, I will teach you too a lesson you will 
not forget. 

2d Peas. If he's such a wretched peasant, it's useless 
to keep him on ; give him his discharge at once and 
make an end of it. 

Mistress. [Listening to him and surveying the 3d 
Peasant.] Oh, look at him there — he has a rash on his 
nose, a rash, I say ! He is ill — he is a perfect reser- 
voir of infection ! ! Did I not give orders yesterday that 



148 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 

they were not to be admitted, and yet here they are 
again! Drive them oat at once ! 

Feod. Ivan. Then your ladyship's orders are not to 
accept the money from them ? 

Mistkess. The money? Take the money, but drive 
them away at once — especially that fellow there — this 
minute, away with him ! He is perfectly rotten. 

3d Peas. Indeed I'm not, mother. God knows you're 
vastly mistaken. Ask my old woman, and she'll tell 
you. Do I look rotten ? I am like a piece of glass, I 
may say. 

Mistress. The fellow presumes to discuss it with me ! 
Begone, begone ! I say. It is done out of malice ! No, 
I cannot — I cannot support this any longer. Send for 
Peter Petrovitch. 

[Exit hurriedly, sobbing, James and Gregory leave. 

Scene XXIV. — Feodor Ivanitch, the three Peasants, and 
the Hall-Porter. 

1st Peas. How, my dear man, is it going to be rela- 
tively to the receiving of the money to-day ? 

2d Peas. Discharge us. 

3d Peas. [Turning over the bank-notes, and looking 
wistfully at them, as if unwilling to part with them.] If 
I'd known what 'ud happen, I'd never have undertook 
it — I wouldn't. It'll dry me up worse than the cruellest 
sickness. 

Feod. Ivan. [To Hall-Porter.] Take them to my 
room ; there is a counting-board there. I'll receive the 
money. Go now. 

Hall-Porter. Let's be going. Come along. 



TEE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 149 

Feod. Ivan. Be thankful to Tanya, for if it had not 
been for her you would never have got the land. 

1st Peas. True enough for you. She invented a pre- 
text, and she executed it faithfully. 

3d Peas. She made men of us, that's what she did. 
If it wasn't for her what would we do ? The land is 
scanty ; no place to turn a beast into ; no, nor a hen, 
for that matter. Goocl-by, bright girl ! When you are 
in our parts, come and eat honey with us. 

2d Peas. Wait till I get home, and I'll get ready 
everything for the wedding. Ill brew beer. Only 
don't fail to come. 

Tanya. Til come, I will. [Squeals.] Simon ! That's 
splendid ! 

[The Peasants leave.] 

Scene XXV. — Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, and Simon. 

Feod. Ivan. God be with you ! Mind now, Tanya ! 
When you've got youi; own house and household, I'll 
come and spend some time as your guest. Shall I be 
welcome ! 

Tanya. As welcome, my dove, as my own father ! 
[Embraces and kisses him.] 



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The little heroine, Daisy Dimple, is a conception to charm the 
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The novel has the merit of steadily holding the attention and 
presenting characters in a manner that possesses a resemblance to 
human nature. — Boston Gazette. 

A romance of love which is told in a highly entertaining style. — 
Milwaukee Sentinel^ 

The story is a very readable one, and possesses more than the usual 
number of pleasant people. — De?iver News. 

Her story may not make anybody wise cf mind, but it will make 
many lighter of heart. — A r . Y. Journal. 

A story of much dramatic power. — Home Journal. 



UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

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P. O. Box 1992. 142 to 150 Worth St., New York. 




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WESTMINSTER 

SERIES 



Entered at the Post Office, New York, as second class matter \ 



THE FRUITS 



F ENLIGHTENMENT 




BY 



COUNT LYOF TOLSTOI 



vAuthori^ed Edition 



NEW YORK 
UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, 

SUCCESSORS TO 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 

150 Worth St., cor. Mission Place 

annual subscription, $12.00. december 10, 1890. 



BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT WITH THE AUTHORS. 

LOVELL'S 

Westminster Series. 



1. Her Last Throw. By " The Duchess" - 

2. The Moment After. By Robert Buchanan 

3. The Case of Gen'l Ople and Lady Camper. By 

George Meredith 

4. The Story of the Gadsbys. By Rudyard 

Kipling . . - - 

5. The Doctor's Secret. By Rita 

6. The Tale of Chloe. By George Meredith 

7. The Old Courtyard. By Katherine S. Macquoid 

8. Frances Kane's Fortune. By L. T. Meade - 

9. Passion the Plaything. By R Murray Gilchrist, 

10. City and Suburban. By Florence Warden 

11. A Romance of the Wire. By M. Betbam- 

Edwards - 

12. The Havoc of a Smile. By L. B. Walford - 

13. The Passion Play at Ober-Ammergau. By Canon 

Farrar - 

14. A Black Business. By Hawley Smart 

15. Missing — A Young Girl. By Florence Warden 

16. Le Beau Sabreur. By Annie Thomas - 

17. A Marriage at Sea. By H. Clark Russell 

18. A Very Young Couple. By B. L. Farjeon - 

19. He Went for a Soldier. By John Strange 

Winter - 25 

20. A Bride from the Bush. By a new writer - 25 

21. A Laggard in Love. By Jeanie Gwynne Bettany 25 

22. Work While Ye Have the Light. By Count 

Lyof Tolstoi - - - - - - 25 

23. Under the Deodars. By Rudyard Kipling - 25 

24. Merry, Merry Boys. By B. L. Farjeon - . 25 
2*5. The Light that Failed. By Rudyard Kipling 25 

Any of the above sent postpaid, on receipt of price, by the publishers. 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, 

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142 TO 150 WORTH STREET, NEW YORK. 









THE LIGHT THAT FAILED 

By EUDYARD KIPLING 

Original edition, 190 pages, paper cover, . $ .25 

Revised and enlarged edition, 250 pages, cloth, gilt, 1.25 



I think the careful revision and arrangement of a novel by its 
author after he has read it in print, and can therefore consider it more 
maturely than when preparing his manuscript for serial publication is a 
tribute to his art, and not at all a derogation from it. — Louise C. Moul- 
ton in Boston Herald, 

Apart from the question of its diverse endings, *' The Light That 
Failed" exhibits power, freshness, wonderful deecriptive talent and a 
rare stock cf knowledge concerning out-of-the-way matters and things. 
— A r . Y. Tri'une, 

Whether in the original or the expanded form the work is a notable 
one. It is a'.l fresh with nothing hackneyed about it. The characters 
are all original, und in the enlarged edition there are some descriptions 
which will not soon be forgotten. — Tacoma Globe. 

His force and originality have taken the world by storm. "The 
Light that Failed ' is this brilliant author's first novel. It is his com- 
prehension of the inner and outer life of men, and his ability to portray 
both, is the secret of Kipling's power. — Epoch. 

In " The Light that Failed " you have a great deal more than a 
padded short story. You have a carefully elaborated study cf two 
characters from childhood tD mature years. There are long gaps 
between the crises of every life which can be briefly chronicled because 
they represent monotonous work and endurance. They are the very 
warp of life: It is the woof which Kipling gives in his stories. — Droch 
in Life. 

His power of bringing a scene vividly before the reader in a few 
brief sentences, is something remarkable. — Denver Republican. 

The vigor, the glow, the habit of acute observation, the salient 
features of Kipling's prose, appear here in a marked degree. — Philadel- 
phia Ledger. 

The Chicago News says of the description of the fight in the 
Soudan in Kipling's novel, " The Light that Failed," that " Kipling is 
the only writer, living or dead, who could have written it." 



UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

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